You pierced my heart
with the point of a needle.
Made me feel weak and feeble
you promised me your world
and did not deliver.
Instead you scared me
with a shiver.
I loved you you fool
you broke to many rule's
which the shattered our dreams.
The distance is hard to cross
but living together was not much worth,
as we needed spaces in between
so we can grow to build our dreams.
Author notes
lies and I how I feel
Being used and lied to by a freind this was written for some one I love so deeply but I had to ask him to leave because he was to controlling in my life .Now I live with my daughter and do as I like but we still have a greater relationship now he promised me the world but did not happen.
A contest entry
- All Used UP by CherryOnTop.
900 points, ended February 22, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost and forgotten by urapns66.
450 points, ended March 28, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ****** LIE ****** by Rebekah-Ann.
1200 points, ended April 17, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how far?? by onapedestalIstand.
300 points, ended May 6, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cry =] [p/w allowed] by LeilaJayne.
500 points, ended May 10, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Personal Writes Here (Part IV) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
900 points, ended May 24, 2008, 208 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Heart by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended July 31, 2008, 118 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanting to forget by City-of-Angels.
600 points, ended July 5, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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wow..this must have taken a lot of courage. I really liked the title, it has a nice hook. Great length. Deep subject. Thanks so much for entering and good luck!
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Exactly, this is the anthem to my ex, me thinks as he was supposed to give me love but I got more fear and neglect than anything else yet I still love him.
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Just a quick comment to say thanks for entering this into my contest, sorry you didnt win but obviously there can only be three trophies given, which is a shame cause in this contest there deserved to be alot more winners! xxx
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sweet and sexy..thanks for enterign this poetic works...sarah
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Passionately expressed from the heart, great flow and rhyme full of imagery and raw pain
Congrats on the HM
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Lovely poem, sorry for the heartache dear! All the best in the contest!
Becks
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well done
this is good but i seems it kinda goes in and out of the rhyme scheme but other than that pretty good. good luck
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Wonderful piece to read, so many lessons included in your descriptions..many of us have already learned some of them. Good for you in letting it out!
Blessings!
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Wise lesson in this poem!
and so much bold courage too! I really enjoyed your
poem, it fed the heart as you poetically spoke to teach
us a bold lesson you have learned!
Thankyou for sharing this poem with us!
Fearlessly written and wise to learn from too!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen
someone once told me in jest..
"he promised me the moon...I should have known!
for you see...he drove a used jeep!"
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Yeah, they can promise so much, but thank goodness eventually you got away from that hurt. Best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this.I only hope now things are better for you and your daughter.So many promises are broken.Funny how when you first meet someone they love you for you.Then when you live together they change and start controlling and making us change and give up our individuality.Thank you for sharing and Good luck in my contest.
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Oh I can see this one within my own life.
Yes sadly thats were it ends...
Controlling is a hard one to bare
Julie
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