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Sweetest Addiction

As I listened to that song

I felt the breeze in my body

I shivered so strongly then blushed

and you were again on my memory

 

every incident is as clear as now

though more than a year has passed

cause it's really hard to let go

when you truly cared and loved

 

I miss your fake promises

I miss your ceaseless lies

and when you leave me and walk away

something inside me dies

 

I never understood the reason

why you had to go

never thought I'd be the one to blame

and that we'd end up so

 

I need to see your face

I miss having you back

and the times we were in love

before days turned to black

 

I'm filled with sorrow and pain

without you my life is lame

everything feels like a dream

a beautiful a very beautiful dream

 

can't take it anymore

I need you back home

but my heart is full of fear

that you won't accept me near

 

you're my sweetest addiction, my purest love

my fear my dream my fatal drug

you're special you're dear and yes you're free

but the question is "What about me?"

Author notes

option number 3
pink sparkling panther

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • joleahe
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is only to be described by one word- beautiful. this is very much touching to me. you are a finalist. thank you for entering


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    loved this piece. thank you so much for entering. may your heart heal again!!!!

    All the best
    Becks


    • Ell13
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!
      It already healed lol


      Lubna


  • VerminVomit
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    good but...

    i like the last stanza the most
    it stands out the most
    i can feel your love...its really strong
    its a good poem but...i dont like it (its like giving a...like the most awesome rap song to a heavy metal lover)
    thanks for entering my contest


    • Ell13
      April 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hey!
      I like what you're saying.. it's a point of view after all.
      Thanks for your comment


      Lubna


  • GypsyEyes
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so i'm not a big fan of rhyme because most people cant think of any interesting words to rhyme with! you on the other hand break that with this poem! very good! thank you for entering!
    NineTailedFox


    • Ell13
      March 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hey thanks.. well, actually i usually rhyme, dunno, i simply do
      anyways, it's good to hear from you

      Lubna


  • ThatONEweirdChick
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow..I like this one. You got a good rhyme scheme going on with actual good words used throughout the poem.
    "I miss your fake promises

    I miss your ceaseless lies

    and when you leave me and walk away

    something inside me dies"
    That part really sticks out to me, I really like that part. Nice message and way of words. Thanks for entering my contest.


    • Ell13
      March 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hey thank you so thrilled you like it


      Lubna


  • Suna Ketsuma
    February 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thats sooo good, thanks for entering! Ketsuma


    • Ell13
      February 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hey.. that's so nice to hear thanks


  • Frozentearz
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for joining in our contest
    best of luck within it,
    Warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • Frogzter gold member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I feel stormy emotions in this piece indeed the madness of love and the frustration of the unknown! If this was your first piece, can't wait to see more in the future! Thanks for entering and best wishes!

    Frogz~


    • Ell13
      February 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hey! that's great to hear and hopefully a good indication

      thanks


  • Wilted Rose Bush
    February 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really emotional write with some great metaphors, Congrats and good luck!


  • Condemd RyeZing
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice job. It's a emotional write, I can tell. You're obviously torn... Thanks for entering.


  • Ell13
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    number 1 sorry I forgot to add it!


  • Blooming Poet
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Option NUMBER


  • Ell13
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hehehe thank you shimoooo
    make sure you read it all, not only the lines u liked
    *lol*

    @_@


  • shimoPal
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • shimoPal
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 7abbbbetttt

  • Ell13
    February 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    first, thanks for the comment
    and u know what.. you are absolutely right, that's exactly how the story goes.It's amazing that you could rightly understand it

    thanks again


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to allpoetry

    This to me sounds conflicting. The narrator wants this person back but it seems that the person is not good for them. Sounds kind of like 'I love you even though you are bad for me' kind of scenario. Good flow and structure. Very expressive. Thanks for sharing.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy
    Site Greeter

  • Ell13
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Heyyy, this is just amazing, never thought i'd be able to write so.. and i'm glad i could express my emotions really well, thank you for giving me such encouragement.


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    February 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow Yes I think this is very well written too! And your first poem too! Keep writing poet! great rhyme and flow to this piece and excellent imagery throughout. You expressed the emotions really well.
    Well done to you

    If you need any help her at AP please don't hesitate to contact myself or any other online Greeter. We are always willing to help
    gaylene

  • Ell13
    February 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well.. i'm very surprised, for this was my first poem.. and it's great to hear that it's "very well-written".
    anyways, thanks.. and I hope someday everyone will let go and move on.


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is very well-written... The lines that BD listed in her comment are among my favourites as well. Sometimes it seems that the pain of heartbreak is eternal, but it shows us what we're made of, and we all move on, in due time. Well done, and thanks for sharing!

    Laura
    xxx


  • Ell13
    February 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much, i'm glad you liked it, and yes sometimes some hurts are eternal..

    thanks again


  • Beauty.From.Pain
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I miss your fake promises

    I miss your ceaseless lies

    and when you leave me and walk away

    something inside me dies

    I felt those lines to the very core of me. I can relate to that so much, its not even funny. I also liked:
    you're my sweetest addiction, my purest love

    my fear my dream my fatal drug

    you're special you're dear and yes you're free

    but the question is "What about me?"

    Because I have been there.. and if I'm honest, probably still am. Thank you so much for this poem. Great job

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