From his lake of fire the grim reaper is taunting
He has sent his army of demons to apprehend me
Those wraiths of my past are forever haunting
I feel their flaming hands clutch at my body
I try to free myself from this feeling
I no longer want to dance with death
Yet in the back of my mind its appealing
When upon my neck there is the warmth of satans breath
Standing here face to face with this demonic soul
Embraced in arms of fiery warmth
This elixer he gave me is slowly taking its toll
I am drained of motivation to be able to move forth
The smoke of his world is slowly encasing me
Placing me in a haze so beautifully white
The sinister appeal of it I no longer see
His liquid of desire is working so right
Drawing me in to drink from the tainted chalice
Feeding me with wine from the sacred apples
His look, voice and mannerisms are no longer malice
He talks so judiciously and no longer babbles
He is telling me of how joyous our amity could be
Just annul the saviour from my life
Go with him for a while and I will see
So goodbye dreaded world as I leave via his knife
Author notes
Michael forrester, Grand Son or great-grand son
A contest entry
- SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a lot of poems... by love my jose luis.
900 points, ended February 21, 2008, 125 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Dark by satan-.
460 points, ended March 2, 2008, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!!!!! by Luminescence.
450 points, ended March 5, 2008, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does this seem like it needs more??
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I no longer want to dance with death.... if I may give you a suggestion... I think it would be nicer if you said that you would no longer WISH to dance with death... it just seems more poetic to me... but thats my opinion... lol you can ignore it if you wish... otherwise... great poem.. and thank you for entering my contest. good luck
~lumi -
Loved it. Fear at the beginning, then slowly....acceptance. The emotions are strong and clear, and the little story of your poem is very nicely written. Thanks for entering!
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I really liked reading this poem, there was so much going on and it really got my attention. Thank you for your entry and the best of luck to you.
~Maria -
Very good! I liked this alot. I love how dark it is, and the imagery you use is fantastic. I love this line...
Yet in the back of my mind its appealing
When upon my neck there is the warmth of satan's breath
Great work. -
This is a really great poem with some awesome imagery. I especially love the last line. One comment though, some of the rhymes could have a little more work in that they seem a little forced.(Like the line "I am drained of motivation to be able to move forth") But that's just minor, doesn't even really need to be changed, because it's great as-is!
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Very well done and entertaining but also thought provoking. Good luck with this, it deserves it in my opinion.
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oh my, I think it may take me a minute to recover, very nice indeed
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Wowo a really dark poem here,with great depth and your thoughts showing .I loved the structure and the rhyming, they worked really well. Good luck in the contest!
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YIKES!!! Very dark indeed! Drawn into the false security offered by the reaper...
That was really really well written I loved it!!
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BEAUTIFULLY DARK
GRANDSON YOU HAVE CREATED A MASTERFULL PIECE OF POETRY I THANK YOU FOR BRINGING YOUR DARKNESS TO LIGHT SO I MAY MARVEL IN YOUR TALENT. -
Sleeping with the covers over my head!
whoa..you are really capturing us with these words and
imagery...the hair on my neck stood up at the warmth
of satans breath! that was well written and so smartly
done! NO it doesn't anything more...just letting us
bathe in the air and imagery of it...was MORE than
enough! AND I TRULY enjoyed the PEARL of Wisdom
in the cautioning poem!
Applaud- Applaud-Applaud
well done! I still have goosebumps!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen/Seattle
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i agree with the comments. this, indeed, is an interesting write.
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this is an intresting write your words twist to leave the reader thinking and drawing them in to think more. well done
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interesting twist on good vs evil, or heaven vs hell...almost like choosing whether or not to follow a path of god or a path of satan...good write and excellent choice of words...i like it
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