Furrian
By: Star of Atlantis
Forever i am
under your spell of
romance so profound as to
render me speachless
i guess i have to go to Pakistan
and bring you home to stay
near me all my days.
A contest entry
- Accrostic Poems Please! Come on guys! by PonyPride.
500 points, ended February 18, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please be very detailed in your coments and give me plenty to learn about how you view my piece. thank you.
Comments
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i didnt do so hot in this contest it ended already... this is just one of those dinking around poems. its about my friend furrian who lives in pakistan and me and my friend abi are trying to get set up here in the us. he has a way with words too... woh let me tell you men from the us should take notes this guy really can take my breath away with his words. abi is like that too and he is arabian but he and furrian are best friends and both raised in pakistan. abi is my best and dearest friend. and i think i would be truely spoiled with sweet things in the form of words if they were both here
we will see how it works out. thank you for reading my accrostic i am glad you liked it
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wonderful
short, but very creative. Best of luck in the contest.
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75%
hmm.. Personally these lines create a sentence and not a poem. However, I am just not fond of the form. Other than that, the message was great and some of your word choice was excellent. -
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thank you for coming to check out my little poem... i am glad you did and thank you for the comment on it
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