Justin is my wanderful husband
well, almost.
He's the one I'm going to marry
and spend the rest of my life with.
I love him more than anything
and I'm looking forward
to becoming his wife
and starting our family.
He wants a son
and we're going to name him, Dane
after Dane Cook.
He loves Dane Cook,
so that's what
we're going to name our son.
We plan to get married
sometime after he graduates
and hopefully
we can move into together
during the summer.
~Ragan~
Author notes
This is about my boyfriend, Justin. We've been together for eleven months now and on Christmas Day, which was our tenth month together, he gave me a beautiful promise ring. So, I know we'll be married real soon.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well.
There is no doubt that you love your man. This has a childlike quality and is very sweet as well. I wish you the best in your love.
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This is a sweet writing, of young love
and romance. It shows stars in your
eyes and that special glow, where reality
cannot quite touch the love you both feel. -
This is a very very sweet poem. But I think if you did spell check and grammar check it would fix a lot of these mistakes. Although it is very sweet I think its more of a series of random thoughts that a poem. I see no flow or form. Its like a blog kinda or thats how i read it. If I were to rewriter this I would take the frist thought and flow with it, forget everything you wrote. Take out lines you think will mezmorize your reader. I think with work this would make a nice sweet poem to present to him as a gift for valentimes day or something!
Thanks for entering my contest and good luck! -
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Thank you for advice. I'll work on it a little more when I have the time and I'll post the other one to see if it's better.
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