“Day breaks and the pieces fall.”
Dawn splintered, thin yellow
Beneath the dulling grey of snow,
Casting mountains
Into silhouetted blue.
That was the world—
Grey and cream and blue
After the storms.
Bare branches thrust upward,
Candelabra without wax;
Yews stood black sentinel
Behind white pickets.
That was the morning—
Black and white
Before the dawn.
At first, the underbellies
Of stiff-whipped clouds flushed
Pink, barely noticeable
Against the lowering darkness
That was night’s farewell—
Seashell pink
Against lead black.
Then ruffles caught the pink,
Fractured it to gold and
Red, and flung dawn-light
Piece by piece like gems
That caught on snowdrifts—
And dawn crept up yews,
Up branches suddenly aglitter.
Author notes
Thanks to mommyof2 and her husband for the sub-title.
A contest entry
- INVITE ONLY - Your Challenge by Dalaney.
1000 points, ended February 28, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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How beautifully you have given me visions of a place I have never been to...but my mind has been there through your words. Great writing. Congratulations on the HM
Soulful Woman
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This builds to such a breathtaking crescendo... a morning like this would make my heart sing!!! Gorgeous, simply gorgeous!
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How this poem builds in my mind makes me anticipate the splendid imagery of the last stanza with it's sparkling conclusion. I am intrigued with you skill in making it burst with color and light, as morning so often seems to do. Lovely visuals. ~ Karen
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What a nicely poetic response...your words do just what the poem wanted to do, burst with color and light. Thank you.
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I enjoyed the vivid descriptions. It was a pleasure to read this fine piece of work. I truly enjoyed it.
41
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A wonderful write ... rich ...
and colourful in its texturedness. Such visual poetry. Well done, Poet.
Blessed be.
Myra
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I'm beginning to become conscious of how important color is in my things, especially as hearing decreases. I'm glad this one spoke to you.
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love the economy of words here...and the power of imagery. congrats.
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Thank you. I've offered to host a workshop at Winklings ("Learn with Micol") that concentrates on compression and economy...so I'm glad it work in this piece. I appreciate your consistency in reading and commenting on my pieces. Again, thank you.
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This is magical as the images painted in the reader's mind actually come to life. Your Free Verse is very impressive.
Love,
Amera♥
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Fits an entirely different landscape :-)
This is mommyof2's husband. Couldn't help but post this...
My first language is not english but Greek and what you wrote is the embodiment of what we Greeks call "Wolves' Light": That is the slowly rising twilight that turns into vibrant light. Again most excellent. Thank you. P. -
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I thank you both very much. The idea of "wolves' light" gives me shivers--an amazing and entirely apt name for this kind of dawn. In fact, I'm going to add it to the title, since it suggests so much of what the poem is about. Many, many thanks.
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Thank you
"A sunset, I have never seen,
yet seen a thousand times before".
Your vivid illustration,
has allowed me to witness,
one more
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Wonderful images captured with the vivid colors and descriptives. A pleasure to read, much enjoyed.
Excellent job!
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Wow
Yup. This guy's definitely been to Colorado for sure. Your competition is going to have to muster a magnificent musing to beat this.
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Actually, it's southwest Idaho, but I've visited Colorado often enough for some of the images to spill over. Thanks for the comments.
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Reminds me of one of my poems ...
or rather a line from it:
like sunlight shattered by a prism
which is what you are describing here. I'm with Wil. You've done an excellent job here.
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The perfect image, with the entire valley as the catch-basin for the reflections. It really was superb to watch. Thanks for the reading and comments. Both much appreciated.
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This is a very good poem. So much to see within the words placed on this page. Images are clear and crisp and your use of color is like a living painting. An excellent poem. -Wil
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Thank you so much. My wife and I had a pre-dawn breakfast at Mcdonalds this morning and watched this happen, so gradually that we almost missed it. Glorious beginning to the day, after a couple of weeks of grey.
Again, thank you for reading and commenting. -
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Then the reality of it makes it that much better. You are welcome. I like good poetry and this is very good.
-Wil
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