Life is a cauldron of words afire
unscripted utterances, ex tempore;
acts played on an unproven stage
before an audience upon its hands,
beneath curtains that fall against our will
long before ends we would portray;
before our strutting hours find finality.
I would stand near your shoulder, Love;
and face the opprobrium of all.
Fold life away in a sack, flung over
my back, hefting over haughty trails;
for truth brings laughter to idle minds
legend comes lore when steeped in time.
Sunrise sends hope,
things lost to yesterday
might flow like steamy ribbons,
weaving across skies; as light
chases our deeper demons.
Our childhoods emerge in darkness still,
and belief overcomes understanding
as shades of gradient grey
fall to penumbral shadow.
Night brings faithful light
moon and glow to stir depths,
passions rise to fevered madness
if we allow, and freedom usurped by
frigid fear chills to inaction
should we lose our place;
we sit to admire stars
speaking by light from eons past,
finding assurance of persistent existence
proved beyond polite understanding.
Amid splendor of shine and shade
the fury of life remade from day to day,
pause finds its throat:
I was born free of debt
to all but the life I have,
mother’s love began with forgiveness
for she bore me into sin;
and I was meant to float upon
water or sink,
as an unremarkable day might find me
adrift in its fateful flow.
The faith I have grown to hold
has come by bitter bite,
life has fangs;
even rose of love bears a thorn.
Given by light to see,
I have grown unto seeds sown,
and my reach for the sun
has brought me to this day.
Until curtains find floors and I
am seen or heard from no more;
standing firm by freedom to choose,
unspent life to hold well or poorly lose;
balanced with feet so near the edge, Love;
peering bold for swiftly pass
moments to foment change
by words and will,
in this smoldering cauldron, as life.
Author notes
Tyler: this was in QOB contest and received points rather than a first place cup... either way 's ok; 'skid
< I am prepared for this contest, and I will make all deadlines that are given to me (unless the case of a medical reason or emergency comes up) if I know I will not be around AP that much at one point (due to things like school, vacations) I will notify Ryan ahead of time.
< I will not bash any beliefs, religions, etc at any point in this contest
< I will not bash/insult or speak unneeded commets about any contestant at any point in this contest, all comments on my fellow contestants will be written in the form of constructive criticism
< I realize that all judges decisions are final, and I will respect the judges, if one judge does say something unneeded, I will report it to Ryan, or the mods, but I realize that all comments I am recieving from judges are intended to be constructive criticism
< Most of all, I will try to have fun
I, PK, have read the above rules, and agree to follow.
An entry in : QOB -- Round 5 (i think)
Prompt : 'cauldrons full of improvisation'
Moral theme : metaphor, one chance to live
stand for truth, and make the world
a better place by acting as an agent of change,
but one must first overcome fears.
Imagery : of theatrical improvisation, stage and extemporaneous actions.
Sixty lines, exactly.
[thank you Ten and Mallie]
In a list
A contest entry
- Poets Survivor 3 - It Begins NOW - Audition Interval One (For Everyone) by Ryno.
1050 points, ended February 14, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold-tastic [prewrite contest!] by Tangled Angle.
525 points, ended February 29, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want to believe by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended March 2, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I agree with Tangled Angle, this is a very good poem that uses metaphor well, but it is a bit wordy. Dispite the fact that it is full of good imagery and metaphor, I had to keep re-focusing my attention because the wordiness of it lost me at times.
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Thanks Danna-
for your comments most appreciated and welcomed ideas for improvement...PK
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Congratulations for placing 6th out of 100 entries.
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This is probably one of the best poems I've read of yours. I thought this was wordy somewhat; and I think this small problem could be solved by cutting back on the adjectives. Besides that, I thought your metaphors were well extended and created some great images. Also, watch out for pronouns, such as "I" -especially in this poem. I thought this was awesome. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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wow
eventhough i am not a judge for any of these contest but yes from me lol...clever write!
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Yes! ten thousand times yes! Ya know I luv it PK!
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Yes, wonderful imagery and flow. Good luck!
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Yes
Imagery here is well done indeed. Good luck!
La x
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Yes
You have done a stunning job with wording the imagery. I am interested to see what you can do with other challenges, i.e; form, metaphor, etc. But from this poem I have faith. Thank-you for the entry. Please await other judge's answers patiently. Thanks; Ryan. -
YOU ARE MISSING THE CONTRACT
REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE WHEN IT IS THERE
Thanks; Ryan -
Well penned! Well indeed. It's usually the ones that comes from the heart I like. Most times we are shallow or philisophical (not in a bad way, we just don't like to dig deep into ourselves or expose too much).
This may have been personal but those are the best writes. You probably wasn't too sure about writing it. Thing is, all personal writs has someone that can relate to it. The best compliment I ever received is: "That's exactly how I felt".
Loveed the 6th stanza the most. Hell of a write. Write on, brother!
I was born free of debt
to all but the life I have,
Dez
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This was magnificent. Reading this sends a message of hope. We should never live in fear of the final act!
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Well, you done just an absolutely beautiful job with this. You have incorporated allusions to your wonderful cauldron metaphor beautifully. I love how the progresion turned out. First steeping... then steamy ribbons... then the full fevered madness of the stirred depths. Excellently done. And your theatrical metaphor was superb. I was really taken by the way you were able to use so MANY aspects of the performance to your advantage. The illustrated your different points with perfection.
Your poem was very inspiring to me. That second stanza is jaw-dropping. It really makes me want to throw the sack over my should able to do anything I set my mind to. I love it. Also, the example set by the speaker was inspiring: he was born of meager circumstance, and with everything against him, but he rose above, reaching for the sun. It makes the reader truly want to choose to spend their days well, and to hold on to the best of life.
I loved how you addressed "Love" in your piece. Making the poem speak directly to a person, or this entity of beauty and aspiration, makes it take on such a personal tone. It's not just some grand pontification, but an impassioned plea for Love, and in turn, your reader, to learn from the speaker's example. I thought that was magnificently done.
Well, what can I say? There are many more amazing things to pick apart line by line, but I will forego that and just congratulate you on an excellent production of art and education.
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PK: This was a beautiful way to find the meaning of life. I enjoyed your Shakespearian reference to "All the world's a stage" and the metaphor was consistent throughout the poem. I also liked the use of "Love" as if this was a letter (perhaps on a deadbed?). Although each word was carefully chosen to elaborate on the theme, I thought lines 48-51 encapsulated your positive worldview. You are certainly one of the best writers on this site and deserving of a place in the finals of this Quest. Peace, Liz
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I'm speechless ...
I loved every moment of this! A fine stage you set, here, wonderful. The metaphors are deliberate and signalling to the spot. I loved how you found the prompt so intriguingly deep and you dug in real good!
Excellent!
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