I love you like roses
whose wild perfume
beguiles a room's softest pose,
like a poet whose heavy heart
expose itself in wondrous prose.
Like silver on darkest blue
an early twilight's ocean cloak,
like lightening searing me
with all the loving you evoke.
And I love you like an actor
who lends his ego and his all
to just applause,
like mars and Venus whose ready lips
once in eclipse make love not wars.
So I will love you until Autumn,
no longer bleeds its rainbow fare,
until rivers are stony dry
and birds of flight desert the air.
Until pyramids have burned to dust
and metals all are turned to rust-
You will still be loved
when written words fade away,
my heart still full will have its say.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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your words waltz, a tribute in ryhme
embracing forever, poetic etched time
ageless foot steps, love squeeze feel
written with glow, universal appeal.
rudolf
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9pts...
Thank you for your wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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Lovely form
absolutely beautiful.
Thanks for sharing, this.
Ephiphany♥
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"like mars and Venus whose ready lips
once in eclipse make love not wars." These lines are amazing! Your imagery throughout is really good, but those lines particularly grabbed me. Love poetry is ubiquitous, but you've said it in a manner far beyond a simple, "You are my life," etc. It's nice to see some fresh images presented.
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Loved this descriptive write!The rhymes u threw just lent more flavour to the write...well done.Best of luck
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Beautiful. I am quite impressed at your ability to write like this. Whenever I try to write a love poem, nothing comes out... Gigantic case of writer's block. It also is placed wonderfully noting that Valentine's Day is coming. I wish I could find someone to love like this.
~Nick
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Liked the rhythm, rhyme and flow of these lines; the sentiments so well expressed are easy to read and understand. Great metaphors and alliteration throughout the poem.
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I think that if you capitalise venus, you should capitalise mars as well... and lines four and five don't seem to make sense to me, I think maybe 'expose' should be 'exposes'... apart from that this is a beautiful piece - it could have been full of cliches, but you have brought it a step above that into original beauty - I enjoyed this piece very much
Keep writing
Polly -
Its beautiful!!! I love the imagery used and it really hit me in the heart.
Simply Lost
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This poem carries a beautiful, tender and weet message with it, as well a tinge of desolation actually At least, that's how I felt it.
Very well written!
Leander
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This is just beautiful ... no other words to describe it!
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I really like the title. It has a sad sentiment. I like to think we will all still be loved when we pass on.
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So soft and beautiful, I love the lines I will love you until Autumn, you have painted such beauty and soft grace, wonderful!
Karen
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Oh this is just beautiful with romantic poetic words that speak of a love that is eternal. Excellent write!
A much enjoyable read.
Love & Light
Debbera
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So sweet!!
So I will love you until Autumn,
no longer bleeds its rainbow fare,
until rivers are stony dry
and birds of flight desert the air.
Until pyramids have burned to dust
and metals all are turned to rust
That is my FAVORITE line. It is so cute! Great job!
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A beautifully romantic expression of the depth of a love. The metaphors are fresh and inviting.
alby
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