I'm the flask
I'm the Vial ( vile)
Pouring out my soul into your shotglass
Choose, drink it up, or toss it?
I've loved with a love
that toes the line between
passion and obsession
some might say
insanity
I fear for you
because I myself
do not understand why
WHY!?
I love you
I've added it all up
and divided by pie
I've screamed
and I've stormed
I've wanted to die
and yet
upset
by the concept
that all that I can ever have
will always by you be slighted
my love
unrequited
You respond like a child
the lion pained
by the thorn in his paw
and I
forever the prey
the mouse
always
always
always
will remove your pain
pull it onto myself
I'll be your
sacrifical lamb
slain
Because I don't want you to ever feel pain
Unrequited love,
its insane
A contest entry
- III by N e a r.
4000 points, ended February 16, 2008, 121 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmmm. I don't quite understand why the second line "I'm the Vial (vile)" is put like that. Why repeat the word twice with different meaning? Is it to emphasize it? But then again, wouldn't it need just one word with one meaning? "I've added it all up" to "I've wanted to die" : my favorite part of the poem! Just rhymed and flowed perfectly. I also like the description you used to announce this unrequited love... Intense and truthful. You've captured that truth wonderfully, especially using the word "insane" to describe it.
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Thanks for entering my Valentine's Day contest, and good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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wow this was touching
it starts off a sad...ends up almost charming
shows how much you love this person...even if they can give you pain
this was lovely love!
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