He, gentle breeze blew past
~turning my pages~
discovering a story untold
to find himself inside
~stirring up ashes~
as a wind named Storm
I read his core, an eye
~sees my phrases~
skimming over horizons
And I reach end before time
~no wind ages~
when new phoenix soars
05-02-08
A contest entry
- ~Anything Goes~ by Charley-.
425 points, ended April 12, 2008, 125 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
*Phoenix: A bird in Egyptian mythology that lived in the desert for 500 years and then consumed itself by fire, later to rise renewed from its ashes. ^^
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very Nice
Hello and thanks for entering my contest i thought your piece was very Good i like the story you had there best of luck to you and thanks again.
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Wow this was beautiful. I loved how you worded it as well. I can feel the majestic winds carry the phoenix towards its end
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great poem dear.I loved it. Liked the gentle breeze that blew past
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Mind Blowing
My dear Sister
Amazing! truly amazing
I said you were getting better, and now you have blown me away.
I loved every single stanza
Much love Julie x
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Very much appreciated, Big Sister Julie
*huggies back*
<3 Alex
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Your use of metaphor is stunning! I feel like flying after reading this well writen work of poetry. Exquisite! There is love chalked her, no doubt! I wish you well in the challenge.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Thank u so much 4 d kind words, Renee...
Glad u 2 felt "da love" lol
<3 Alex
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You were smooth as silk with the words flowing like a beautiful waterfall and even makes me poetic inside my own soul. Good luck in the contest.
Ted E
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"smooth as silk"
cool, cool... you're pretty smooth yourself Ted!
Thanx 4 wishing me luck... hehe
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I'm not too sure how smooth I am, but I know you can write that way and you're very welcome
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Thank u Tara!
I only learn from the best
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"And I reach end before time
~no wind ages~"
this is awesome..your writing is getting better and better each time I read you..this is awesome metaphor..good luck in the contest...
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