I am a shadowed singer,
I sing a shadowed song.
I used to sing of laughter,
But it has been so long.
I used to sing of sunlight,
of days so bright and clear.
But now I sing of sorrow,
since you’re no longer here.
I sing a song of shadow,
Of darkness and despair.
You used to sing beside me
Now silence is what’s there.
We sang of joy and gladness
Till Death tore us apart,
Now solo I sing on,
With sadness in my heart.
I sing my shadowed songs
Of grief and loss and pain.
So singing, I shall wander
Until we meet again.
Author notes
Written November 18th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- loosing a loved one by karas.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is a really beautiful piece and it saddens me. You can feel this person saddness through the flow of your words. Great write. Thank you so much for entering my contest. Good luck~Crys
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simply great!
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Another beautiful write, so smooth and easy to read. And, with a message so well stated. Just keep doing this - I love it. Paul
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wow...I cant begin to put into words how incredible this piece of writing is...
I sing a song of shadow,
Of darkness and despair.
You used to sing beside me
Now silence is what’s there.
How darkly beautiful. Keep up the excellent work!
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In this line: 'Now silence is what’s there.' There is no error I feel the pace would flow as well as the above part if 'what's' is 'what is'. I know the repetition of 'is' in the same line usually doesn't play well with people, but, I feel the repetition is warranted.
Also, I feel that your second to last verse, broke the rhythm. Mainly in the first two lines. I feel that could be re-written to stay in the flow of the piece.
Other than that, I felt this was a good piece. A good piece that you have written here.
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had a very sad mourning to it, the poem did. kinda dark and really sad. I loved it! great imagery and great rhyme scheme!
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that was good, i can relate as someone i really loved was taken away from me and i liked the whole 'shadowed singer' thing! And i was reading your profile and i love mercedes lackey's work too! my fave is probably 'Magic's Pawn' because that never failed to make tears come to my eyes. keep writing ^^
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Thank god, someone can rhyme. (Grin) Very, very, very nice. I'd praise more, but I'm just amazed.
Jade -
oh, this was a beautiful poem, I really loved it. The story, the rhythm, the rhyme, simply wonderful. I really can't find anything wrong with it, thanks for sharing! great write
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I like the kind of bouncy flow this has! Even though the meaning of it is very sad, the bouncyness kind of makes it feel happy! lol..I like how you related it to your name
Pretty spiffy! 
Great write, and Good Luck in the contest!
twizted bizkit -
I like the pace its reminiscent of the older classical poets, bittersweet. well done !
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I like this. It's very sad. I hope you don't really feel this way.
But it is good, and it rhymes very well.
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