inside my mouth, a body resides;
pink flesh, less clothed
than naked:
this, that even water
has not dressed; even earth
nor fire have burnt
but tonight, I will part my lips,
let wind kiss an exposition, thighs
of my mouth - those breasts
clung to the textures of my tongue
(and she will lick them well: nipples,
quiet curves and contours
where none have entered)
I will wait for it all to subside,
for my breasts
to fill back with flesh -
and you'll just sit here, coal-eyed, mouth-opened,
drop
two mornings on my skin
Author notes
flute
In a list
A contest entry
- mouth music: woodwinds by Nicolette.
1050 points, ended February 12, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please give some honest and constructive criticism -
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I can easily see how this took Gold. It truly is a well done piece. I would love to leave constructive critique, but honest...I think this is great as is
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Your style is unique, I know this has gotta be you, Namita. Beautiful poetry. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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This does not even serve as a metaphor. It feels more like erotica than sensual - strange how this got gold regardless.
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Beautiful
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:)
I don't mean to be rude, but for someone your age, you write extremely well. This poem was original and beautiful, and the words were pure poetry. Wonderfully done.
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this write is actually quite startling...
in its freshness, its frankness, and its beauty
wonderfully done
thanks for creating this for us
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Flute!
This was just... Beautiful... Wonderful! I really have nothing to say.
I should have entered this contest... I play clarinet.
Good luck! 
~Cassie
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WOW...
"thighs of my mouth - those breasts
clung to the textures of my tongue"
I had to pull my eyes away from those lines and try to remember that I'm not here to drool, but to read, lolol. Wow, Namita...girl, young woman, poet, my belle... this is a beautiful poem! You've made the flute of sensual love your own - I wish I had written this
!!
and "drop to mornings on my skin"... loved it. You just dropped the sun into my eyes, deep into my core with this piece. Excellent - I agree with Al.
Thank you for sharing this poem of mouth music with us, for dropping beauty on our skins.
~ Nicolette
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you may have made Nicolette's job very easy, this is one of the best poems i've read on the site...
you are so young, i have no doubt you were born to write poetry
al
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this is stunning..
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whoa, man. this is fucking amazing.
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Your coquettish grin belies your age... 13!
Your Poetry is much older!
"but tonight, I will part my lips,
let wood kiss an exposition, thighs
of my mouth - those breasts
clung to the textures of my tongue"
Sensual Sensation, Scribe.
~ Nicky♥
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Fabulous
This poem keeps drawing me back. I am still trying to figure out exactly why.
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This is so darn good, ARGH, I want to remove mine now!
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Bravo
color me speechless...
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omgoodness..this is lovely..
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Just wow - this is so very sensual. Your poetry has this feel to it that I sense, as if there's almost too much energy for these beautiful words to hold. If that makes any sense at all. This is just wonderful
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