These words will be here tomorrow,
Still tacit, still impalpable.
And yes, tomorrow
They will still be inelegant,
And maybe a little bit ineffective…
But at this moment
They are all I have left to give to you.
It seems as though years have passed
In only a matter of weeks.
A decade or so has passed us by
And yet we’re still on the brink
Of the same destruction as before.
Each day becoming more futile.
Love may be wearing thin,
The nothingness may just be setting in.
I’ve gone restless
Staying up wondering if maybe,
Just maybe
There is the slightest possibility
You’re awake with the same thoughts.
Come tomorrow morning,
I’ll still be wide eyed with chapped lips
From the drops of salt
That never got wiped away.
Soon enough, the sun will disclose over the horizon
And I’ll still be left pursuing a dream.
A one sided fantasy of the potential we could have had.
Something I’ve only just sampled.
Sprinting uselessly after something
That I know I will never catch.
I’ll be breaking a sweat
And losing beloved moments
Of my life rushing after something
That you may have never wanted.
Something that only existed in my mind.
Chasing after dreams we never shared.
Catching abrasions on my arms and legs
Every single time I fall
When you aren’t there to catch me.
And though the hope left my lips so long ago
I can’t seem to wash away the aftertaste.
A breakthrough,
Symptom riddled,
With the brilliance of it ticking away time
As I keep on running,
Chasing after nothing more than my own dreams…
Dreams, that you never wanted to be a reality.
In a list
I guess it's nothing you did... but once something dies, you can't make it live
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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May i respectfully submit that life support can and sometimes does work. As long as there is some small spark there is always hope. (or so my romantic poet's soul chooses to live by) i DID enjoy your poem though, and i will read more, soon.
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I love the depth of the story that you tell here and they way you move through it all. There's a real, solid feeling of loss and of want that you also seem to fight against at the same time. The one-sided aspect of it all comes through so well. I liked this a lot. Great style, great rhythm, just a well-structured piece of writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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This poem has this wonderful underlying theme of impotence. Every word sort of takes the attitude of "I know it won't do a bit of good to type this, but I'm gunna type it anyway." It gives it a real sense of comfortable despair.
on a side note: thank you for actually writing sentences.
I get so sick of this "captain kirk" style poetry that pops up non-stop. As if, somehow writing a sentence with only nouns, verbs, and adjectives is the cool new way to be cryptic. -
These words will be here tomorrow
Still tacit, still impalpable
And yes, tomorrow
They will still be inelegant,
And maybe a little bit ineffective…
Oh my, got me lost for words to say
I just absolutely love it!
and your vocabulary is amazing
plus the imagery like the
wide eyed with chapped lips...
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i agree
my favorite part is
'I’ve gone restless
Staying up wondering if maybe,
Just maybe
There is the slightest possibility
You’re awake with the same thoughts.
Come tomorrow morning,
I’ll still be wide eyed with chapped lips
From the drops of salt
That never got wiped away.'
because i spend weeks do that and it still got me no way.
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"I’ve gone restless
Staying up wondering if maybe,
Just maybe
There is the slightest possibility
You’re awake with the same thoughts.
Come tomorrow morning,
I’ll still be wide eyed with chapped lips
From the drops of salt
That never got wiped away."
I really liked this stanza (although I would change "gone" to "become").
You did a great job of conveying the agony of unrequited love.
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Now that's some kind of a poem.
I've read my share of poems and this one's very nice.
It has just that which I want in a poem,
a meaning, not difficult to see, but not easy to understand.
It catches (for me at least) the problem of wanting something you can't get, because of another person not wanting it. (<- I'm not sure I understand that myself
)It's better than most poems I've read, and certainly better than my own.
Please keep it up.
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i like the theme of having a shared moment lying awake in bed, thinking at night. I used to get this feeling about the girls I liked in high school
interesting and powerful line "love may be wearing thin / nothingness etc etc". Last two stanzas could use some revision I think, to make them as solid as the others. -
a good piece of poetry which flows smoothly along, time is relative, sometimes a day can go by in a second, but that is when we feel good, it only tends to drag on when we do not feel happinness in our lives, that's when time stalks the mind, usually love has something to do with it.
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good imagry. I liked the "chapped lips" "abrasions" it felt very raw. I could have done without the dream part maybe you could of used another word. good luck Could you please review some of my work? thanks
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very emotional and very thought provoking
this poem is alive with the struggle of "what if" and regret
I enjoyed this read
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Tragically, sometimes fantasies are one-sided. I recall my last relationship. I was left wondering if we had grown apart, or if, in fact, we had never really been together.
Great job.
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Very emotional, or at least it seems to be. Great write!
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taiinfinite
when you love some one so much you can carry them so far and for so long, but alas eternity is just to far. a great read enjoyed very much so much emotion poured out
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Innermost thoughts put into words.Sometimes the very writing down of these words is enough to take away the fantasy world that we all live in at times.The dreams we chase cannot always become reality, sadly, because we need the co-operation of others.Good luck to you, Ros
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This was truly a heartwrenching poem!! the emotions just poured forth, and seeped right into the heart and minds of the readers!! It was so touching and yet heartbreaking!! It brought a tear to the eye! I really loved this.. you did a wonderful job..Thank you very much for sharing this with us!!!
Angel
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Truly it must plague some writers, the importance of words, such meaning we ascribe to them but what weight do they hold really? Aside from the moment they're spoken they must mean very little to those who've said them. Beautifully you touch on unrequited love with such heart ache that I;m willing to go out on the same limb with you, a great writer can engender that in their readers. Well aware of the trails and tribulations, the hurt and wasted time, false dreams that accompany love and life and everything else, all i can say is we either dwell on the past or worry about the future, never taking the time to say thankyou for the minutes we have now, the present, like most words, carries the most weight in the category that is "now"
thankyou for the thought inducing write, i truly appreciated it
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this is a sad and heart wrenching write.
i think almost anyone can relate to this.
you convayed your feelings so well in this piece
thank you for sharing.
keep up the great writing.
Fire
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That's really cool in my opinion. The whole poem is definately heart filled and something that a lot of people could relate to. I myself couldn't really relate but I still really enjoyed it. Awesome work!
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This is a subject everyone can relate to, but you have found a fresh and new way of expressing this old story. I really enjoy this poem.
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Awkward
The varied length of lines make for an awkward reading scheme. There are some good lines and a good twist at the end. -
That was the most beautiful poem ive read on all poetry and ive read a lot. it is filled with such emotion, a great write. well done.
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