Just yesterday (2) follow up to "When ALL Has Been Said And Done"

-just yesterday-

not even twenty four hours ago,

you chided him ,

in a voice so nasty it made my skin crawl;

did you think I did not hear it,

or did it really not matter to you?

I could not see his eyes,

for I was in the other room,

-but I have seen them a thousand times-

and I will see them again,

long after you are gone.

but now I will be able to read them

-the pain that lies deep behind veiled pupils-

the one he seldom spoke of,

for fear that he might diminish you in my eyes,

he tried to paint me a picture in colors a bit softer,

than the harsh truth that I knew all along;

-it was you-it is you-and it always will be you-

even long after you are gone,

-for so much pain will never fit into your coffin-

to be buried under six foot of dirt and a few flowers.

do you even remember yesterday,

or will you blessed with forgetting once again;

all that you did and all that you said

through all of those years of calling yourself a mother;

for you tell everyone -now that death is knocking at your door

-that you were a good mother-that you were a good wife-

that you have no regrets;

[a cold heart never does-for ice only melts in warmth]

yet he took you in

and he takes care of your every need,

[more than you ever did for him]

-yesterday-

he woke you gently,

when your head had fallen forwards into your breakfast bowl

-yesterday when you had fallen asleep and spilled your coffee;

all along pretending that you were just fine-that you were comfortable.

I heard his words of gentle" mom, let's wheel you into bed-you are tired"

he tried to spare you the embarrasment of what really happened;

and then I heard your words- "just leave me alone and stop being so nasty to me"

that is what you said as fire was spitting out of your hollow forever ago dead eyes ,

to that nasty man, your son , my husband, the father of your grandchildren;

-the same man that gently massages your swollen feet -

the same man that makes sure he lifts you like a fragile porcelain doll;

when he sits you down or when he lays you down into your bed,

-the same man who pulls the covers over you and asks if you are warm enough-

I don't wish you bad,

"forgive them for they do not know what they do"

I do believe the scriptures say something like that;

I don't wish you bad, I don't wish you physical pain and misery,

I just hope that his eyes will haunt you,

beyond the grave, beyond that place that promises eternal Peace;

Love begets Love

and Peace begets Peace;

[can you lay claim to either as you are leaving shattered souls in your wake]?

Monday, February4th 2008 -5:47am EDT

reenie