I started to wonder
and it all began
to feel less
than yesterday
Today I no longer wish
to be only the whitecaps
kissing the warm sand
under your feet
Reaching for ampler spaces
I become the sea
and rule the tides
under the moon and the sun
of my dreams
Author notes
edited after visiting the IRS, if it sucks, blame the government guys
A contest entry
- anything under 15 lines by tara wilson.
600 points, ended February 4, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i like this a lot (despite the gov't interference)! I enjoyed the expansion from waves to ocean, it's a beautiful image that you've created here. i really like the line about "kissing the warm sand" it implies a closeness between the narrator and the subject while still implying a slight disconnect. very well done!
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Aspiring higher,
wanting more,
becoming the sea!
Perfection, Mari.
Aesthete
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i have found my self here before. knowing i couldnt stay. the strength liberation gives is like re birth.
excellent write.
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Ooooooooooooh~~
Now when I read this piece I was like...
Oy!!
I become the sea
and rule the tides
under the moon and the sun
of my dreams
Now this is what I am talking about
Another Beauty!!
and the AC...Gosh..the IRS
...I needed therapy just reading
the initials
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too my Friend
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Perhaps I could use a dose of IRS if this is the result. It certainly has an edge that reminds me of how my exspansive dreams were never able to fill my empty arms. I hope you do well in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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oh - yes, this is a little more clearer..lovely...
wonderful metaphor
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the first verse made me start to wonder too, such powerful ideas wrapped in small simple words, a wonderful dream, a remarkable poem...PK
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or perhaps it is the IRS looming
good luck with that..lol
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Oh don't talk about! They're such a pain in the butt. Need more papers and will return there tomorrow, they didn't get rid of me yet
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"I no longer wish
to be the whitecaps
kissing the warm sand
under your sun"....beautiful imagery and metaphor..although I am not sure it is clear enough and working to its full potential in the poem..??
yes,,I agree with Leander,,this does have a sad edge to it and I can't figure it out..you know I have poems like this too, they are happy and sad poems all at once..
I almost feel a letting go of someone here...but in a good way..thanks so much for your entry..
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Thanks! Yes, that is my thing, I'm always swaying between the two feelings. Talking about indecision lol
I edited it
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Love the Poem - love the (personal) Image. ---- And I've always wondered why people want to put us in goal for not paying tax. --- Thank you
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This one has rather a sad edge to it
but very beautifully written sweet mommer
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