Oh the hurricane was howling,
And the sky was grump and scowling,
And the mist was out a-prowling,
On that cold and scary night.
And the lonely winds were shrieking,
And the dark, black clouds were leaking,
And the sky seemed to be speaking
Now, in dazzling bursts of light.
Oh the trees were all a-swaying,
And the villagers were praying,
For the night seemed to be saying,
That nobody would be spared.
And the priestesses were preaching,
With their priestly voices screeching,
And the village was beseeching
Gods who hardly ever cared.
And the children were all crying,
And the mothers, they were sighing
For the stormy nights were trying
Times, as trying as can be.
And a lunatic was talking
To himself, and he was rocking
On a chair, and this was shocking
Since the lunatic was me.
Author notes
Apocryphal Awry
A contest entry
- The Best of All Your Rhymes by One Angry Monkey.
600 points, ended February 11, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best, most beloved write by Austere.
2300 points, ended February 10, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those Honorable Mentions to GOLD!!! by Charity Ann.
550 points, ended February 14, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you. Now I'm really happy!!
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Wonderful
This poem doesn't seem to be getting its due. I really loved it. The pulsing rhythm makes you feel the scene, the word choice brought it to life, and the clever twist at the end wrapped it up nicely. A great late night read, thanks. Good luck in the contest!
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Jim: It's supposed to be "grump". "Grumpy" does not fit metrically. And the repetition was used to acquire the thumping rhythm, so yes, you're correct. Thanks for commenting, I appreciate it.
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I really like this. I like your clever rhymes and rhythm...the only line I wasn't sure about was the 5th stanza, last line...didn't sound quite right to me...but I know that's totally subjective. That aside, I really liked all the descriptive imagery. You reall painted the scene in my mind. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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This had a fine declamatory feel to it. To my mind the repetition of the and at the start of so many lines helped to emphasise the message and give a pounding feeling in line with the storm being described (one might even say being experienced).
The final stanza and especially the final line, was unexpected but on second reading it fits so well.
I am not surprised this gained an HM.
Jim
PS
In Line 2 did you mean grump or grumpy?
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I like this. One Angry Monkey was correct about the repetitive feel, but it fits as this poem is full of repetition and rhyme. Great write, poet.
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Great twist. Its reallly made the poem. My only critisism is the over use of And at the beginning of many lines, it gives the poem a really repetative feel.
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