Beating bleeding
pulsing breathing
loving needing
go ahead take it
it's yours to keep
from me to you
my heart in your hands
Author notes
Bones7
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre Written Rhyme by Piccola.
900 points, ended February 5, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by crystalgodess.
700 points, ended February 14, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - III by M a r l u x i a.
4000 points, ended February 16, 131 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest!! Please enter!! by With Broken Wings.
1200 points, ended March 15, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best prewrite between december 07 and february 08! by danceswsquirrels.
1910 points, ended April 1, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Like the sentiments you express so well in these lines - especially enjoyed that last line. Congrats on the HM for this in one of the contests.
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I decided to post every ones scores so here's yours! based on every ones votes!
0 gold 0 silver 0 bronze 1 hm .25
Jessa♥
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2
NUMBER IS FOR ME, NOT A PLACEMENT. -
honorable mention
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please put your name in the authors notes by tomorrow. And don't forget to vote on your choices for gold silver bronze and 3 hms
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Oh wow.. This was really good.
The image that you created with your words is
just really amazing.. Great write..
Peace to you, Jetleena
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Liked the brevity in these lines, the flow and the message you share here, Easy to read and understand as well.
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Wow. I really like the simplicity of this piece. It takes a lot of talent to say so much, in so few words. Keep it up.
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WOW! This is an exceptional short write! The flow.. the rhyme at the beginning... I love this. Bookmarking! Man, I don't know what else to say!
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Thanks for entering my Valentine's Day contest, and good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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This has got to be another of your best. . .oh and have this
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Oooo. . that's both lovely and sick. Oh how heart and gut wrenching. To visualize a live pulsing heart in your hand. . .but one that belongs to someone else.
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Very good write here
Yes we feel as others leave our world they hold our hearts within their hands yet but a moment in time . As they look upon us in the sorrow of their leaving and yet the beauty abound and as we let them go and find their way so as we do ourself here on earth . WE have to let them go for them to fly hold back not an angel with tears in your eyes
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WOW kiddo your really tackling all the different forms of poetry aren't ya, and doing a damn fine job of it !
This write kinda gave me chills, very intense in it's simplicity.
Love it!
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Nice piece, intense and powerful in so few words. Not an easy task. Very well penned, good luck with it in the contest
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I love this but the 2nd stanza loses the rhyme somewhere. Although beautiful I was wanting rhyme throughout the poem. Thank you for your entry though, it's stunning.
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WOW. this is absolutely beautiful. I see my son that you are still on a roll with your poems. this is now my most favored one out of all the ones that you have done. I love all of it, I really like the last line of your poem the best though.
this line says it all. excellent job.
good luck in the contest.
kat
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B, liked the intensity melded with sincerity,not keen on red font,but as always, has to be your preference. Have considered left aligning this instead of central alignment? Just a thought. Well done.
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how lovely! so simply put yet so sincere. A lovely thought for a Valentines wish too. 'from me to you' Good luck in the contest
. Rewarded 4
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you are someone in which so few words can be wriiten and yet hold so much weight
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This is simple yet works. Wonderful job with the brevity and the powerful content of the poem. You keep a steady flow and make almost a rhythm out of the syllables. Although the end takes away from the flow of the poem, I think that's exactly why that last line is so great. It breaks the form and breaks the beat to catch the reader right at the end and keep him wowed. Awesome job, and good luck in the contest.
Cheers.
. Rewarded 8
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Good good job!
I really enjoyed this poem! The flow and rhyming gave it
a bass beat that effectively pounded out a chorus of
poem cleverly written!
Loved it! High Five of a poem!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) great poem!
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I like...I feel the emotion
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