Dead unto the world
Eerie and incomplete
Closed inside this tomb
Everlasting defeat
An angel of darkness
Steals the very essence of my soul
Eternal anguish enveloping
Damning me deeper into this hell hole
Author notes
blah...ya...sometimes I feel all dark inside...
dooo daaa
Hope ya enjoy!!
Written November 18th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Depressing...? by Harleqyn.
250 points, ended November 25, 2003, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I feel all dark when I write my horror~ Gives me an opportunity to release the inner demons~ Not that I would ever act upon but everybody needs an outlet to release~Feeling dark is not bad~
Great acrostic sweetie~ Big hugs 
and much love~ Desire
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its alright i guess ahh btu im not to wild about the format u used... given a different contest, id realyl like it- but even though u used that format u made it rhyme, thanks for that... good luck
Jewels -
ah... its never wrong to be all dark.. a crazy notion feeling deceased like a lamb after stew eh.. but i feel the closeness of the hand enveloping me or maybe thats just cause im 30 and i feel like its the end soon hmmm
-
ya...I originally had it without hell...actually, I had the ending like 5 different ways...but I couldn't decide...I just wanted what sounded more powerful...and my brain wasn't cooperating
Ah well...it is a hell hole though... so I dunno...thanx for the cheeseybread offering! haha...next time...nuggets!
~~T~~ -
hehe...I know I've been goin a bit crazy with acrostics lately
I just love writing them...don't know why And I have that contest going too...all acrostics...haha...CRAZY ME...or rather Loopy!! 
Thanx for your comments!
~~T~~ -
Now you KNOW I feel ya dawg...*hands you a bubble* It sucks so bad that it can't be all happy, but you know what, it makes you appreciate the happy even more.
Like Eric Draven says, Can't rain all the time...and it's true. Like the holy hodge and mighty podge, you have to have your order and chaos.
*leaves offerings of cheesey bread*
As for the right itself, I thought it was very well expressed, maybe take out the word hell and see how it flows without it? Or leave it...whatever. I love your choice of words, it's a very strong write. Good luck in the contest!
~ Erin Ravenskye AKA Stalker
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wow this is good. yea, like Shibbi wrote, you are going all crazy on these acrostic poems, but that's okay, they rock! especially this one. i REALLY like this one! great rhyming, and the flow is amazing. each line just fits so well with the other. i like that a lot, i'm a big sucker for flow!
great work, as always. keep it up! :-D
and good luck in the contest!
*Raina* -
Your going Crazy on these Acrostic piece's at the moment... This sounded pretty good though, fit really well with it's subject material... (or whateva - tryin to sound a little teacher'ish... lol)
Keep Groovin,
Shibbi.
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Nice...simple yet complex. I like the rhyming with everlasting defeat. :-P
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