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Questions

Where are you?
Why have you gone?
When can I see your Smile again?
Probably never,
As you left, Your face showed nothing but sadness.

A contest entry

...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Darianna
    February 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Goodbyes can be so sad, and puzzling. Especially when there seems to be no reason for the person leaving. So many questions left unanswered.

    Thanks for entering my contest, good luck.

    Dari xxx


  • Charity Ann
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmm...suggestions...I don't feel connected to what you are writing. It is simply communicated, but is there some way you could convey more feeling...possible allude to whom you are writing about or how/why they left. Was there a lenth limit?? Also, try playing around with some formating. The simplest formation change can really add a lot to a piece. I hope this was helpful. Thanks for sharing!


  • tarr
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty deep for such a short poem (no offence ment).
    I really like this.

    you've been touched be the 'A'
    alex