Dis a point and dat a point
And all points in between
I’ll just stay in dis array
While you go seek your mean.
.
Author notes
First, I’d describe this, not as my favorite of all my writes, but as my favorite overlooked write. I think to most it seems a clever little play on words, and it rhymes in some cute kinda way so – there you have it. To me, it looks entirely different.
This actually began as a lengthy expose of some excruciatingly raw feelings which then were honed, cropped, pushed, shoved, spindled and mutilated until they came down to the essential pith. Multiple thin layers of meanings folded in upon themselves to become this single dense, compact line.
It tells the tale of a huge sense of miscalculation, which seemed to put in question all standards of faith and logic. A betrayal of deepest trust – on endless levels - personal, legal, geographical, geometrical, technical yadda, yadda, yadda.
There’s the simple play on the shortest distance between two points being a straight line, (let’s not miss the double entendre of straight), the sense that meeting someone halfway was now out of the question because we were obviously going in two different directions, the legal reference to holding back judgment (stay in the array or jury), the resulting sense of disrespect, disappointment and dishevelment, but still allowing one to go, to seek, to find happiness, their middle ground so to speak, without bitter recriminations – the door still ajar, the light still on, a single ray of hope at the end of the tunnel. If the reader had limitless patience, I’d point out other references, but may it suffice for me to say they are there. And I think that is why I love it. Because, I can sit back and look at this single seemingly simple line from a million perspectives and have it say so much simultaneously.
Did I write this for a wide audience expecting them to tease out these meanings? No, definitely not. (But I must say I love those who caught more than one and dear silica for sensing all the more.) But you asked for the write I think is my best, now didn’t you.
Written November 18th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Simply The Best by dp robertson.
300 points, ended January 16, 2004, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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As you read this I was over deciphering your Sickle Cell and I too find it eerie, but strangly comforting in a way, to see how both our minds work along similar paths. Considering that your Felatio is in your good girl category, I can't say there's a whoooooooooooole lotta room in that evil category.
Wondering where in TX and why a pear? Care to share? -
LOL!!! This is so GREAT! I see what you mean this is very much like my 'muddle in the middle". Apparently no only do we share a name but we think alike! kinda eery in a way...i cant help but wonder which of us is the "evil" twin.
-jane! -
i had to read it a bunch of times but i kinda got it. a lot in 4 lines and you did good. i think i would like it more if i understood 100 percent but i almost do. keep it up. great write.
EaRiNe!!!! -
This truly a different kind of write, and it isn't one that I truly enjoyed. I did like how short it was and to the point, though. I think you could've done a lot more with this write by putting some more effect instead of your end result that seems like random thoughts jumbled together. Thanks for sharing this write anyway. Take care of yourself. Always ~Star
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Pythagorus was a square
Oh geez! Now I'm looking at everyone else's comments on this and feeling like my comment was so inadequate it wasn't even on the same plane. -
for four lines...this is a great poem...very well written and it makes all the more sense with the graphics...nice job...best of wishes...~genielassie~
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Now I am thinking if Pythagoras ever wrote poetry I dare say it may have been something like this. Maybe even Giotto as I feel as though I am getting a circle handed back to me when I asked for a painting. But the fact is that this is rather clever and incredibly insightful and succinct when describing a relationship. Or more particularly when one party decides to piss off from the other and go do their on thing and others can tag along if they wish as almost an after thought. It also couldn’t be more removed from some of the other stuff I have read from you and others. It is amazing and it shows a poetic mind that if it was let loose more often is capable of anything. It is an absolute diamond and stands out like a veritable dog nut in this comp. And can I just say, that takes some doing because there are some hot entries and could be anyone of ten, at least in the running. But this is rather special, very clever and some would say bullshit but I would be more inclined to say it'a bullseye. Great entry
David
David
Edited on Jan 15, 9:00 because ''. -
and this is precisely why I think David's contest is so unique. I think we all could use a whole lot of slowing down for all too often, when I look at the poems which get the most applauds etc, I feel, in my humble opinion, they are the ones that give us our ten second fix rather than solid nourishment. When that happens, we are reduced to greeting card status (no offense meant to those who make their living here)and miss the epics.
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I came back to this, mainly because you took the time to comment so nicely on my poem (thankyou) and the revisit was a good thing for me - as first I let it wash over me without actually looking in it...just at it. You are right about the play of words, you actually need to read it a few times (maybe I'm just slow - I think before too I had read about a million poems before it and my brain was frozen. I've had a break and it looks back at me this time). Indeed, a clever little piece you have crafted here.
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What??!!! Are you nuts, girl? No one has the time for this shit.
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wonderful
This is soooo very good! I love your originality - why couldn't I think of this??? (LOL) How many more of these witty little poems do you have tucked away? I guess I'll just have to visit your site and find out!
Best wishes,
Hoosier writer & poet,
Moses L. Hochstetler -
WOOHOO! Geeks Rule! Heheheheh... was not dis a pointed by this but my thoughts were definitely thrown into dis array. Excellent write!
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Bravo! What a wonderful play on words! You packed so much into those four lines! Amazing how something can seem so simple but, in reality, be so complex. Very well done! Thanks for sharing!
naena
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This is an absolute diamond! Compared to the other stones
it's small, but oh how it sparkles and catches the eye!
I didn't really clue in to your play on words until
the third line. I can see why this could be "overlooked",
as you say. I'm so glad you took the time to write an
extensive comment on this. I especially enjoyed the tease
that there could be more meaning found in this, and I have
to admit I was quite pleased with myself, and your poem,
when I remembered that Data Point, has something to do with geography.
Normally, if I see the word "dis" used in place of the word
"this", I usually click on. I'm glad I stayed here. -
Angelica, I'd be glad to explain outside the realm of this contest if you're interested. If so, just drop me an im.
Jane -
I am sorry I don't get it,sorry.I'm sure it has a lot of meanings but blame it on my age,ok
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well...I must say it is very creative.
Very cute and I enjoyed it very much.
Sam
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I had to giggle at this. I hated geometry with every fiber of my being but this was cute.
~JayLynn -
yeaay! I love Geometry!! I'm so excited to see a Geometry poem!!
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Lol, this was an interesting piece indeed..hehe
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I think that I just daydreamed thru every math course I ever had. Very fine punning!
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rise over run.
Calculate
the irrational.
isolate the why,
you are left
with the reasons
two integers intersect
for a simple fraction
of a second.
In search of
common factors
that divide the world
I have always wanted to do a math poem, but this was all that I could come up with.
Loved yours. I guess you are like me and sit in class turning everything into poetry.
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But I thought we’d passed that base… the ‘Oh but I’m just a blonde!’ bit – and irrespective of the mop on top – the lines are proper pointed! But if you insist I won’t resist and take your words of charity, but know that with my dim eyes, it cannot be true clarity!
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Oh sure, I know I’m overboard
And way over the top
But can’t you just accept kind words
From this hag behind her mop?
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I think your aura awe is awesome but a tad misplaced, was just supposed to be a diverting tale and not a trip through space!
I ought to thank you for the thought though – enough of grough and rough…
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A point to point of steeplechase,
Engraved upon the human race…
What a true blessing it is to be brought to pause by words that make us feel more, see more, be more. And you, dear Silica, do that to me every time. You leave me breathless, staring at words which resonate.
Your Christmas tale held so many I had to stop reading last night for frustrations caused by scrolling. I promised myself a good old fashioned hardcopy (highlighter in hand) so I can revisit and revisit, over and over, until I wring every drop of joy out of each syllable ... and finally breath again. -
So what's the point? To get to a point is to leave a point. To get a point...can hurt (or feel real good, I don't know about that, tho). Anyway, I enjoyed the write. I found my mean without the ness. Peace & Nub. ET
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A simple ageing mop… I doubt,
To weave in words geometric bouts,
Reflecting lines that were once drawn,
Of courses not taken, and hopes so shorn.
A point to point of steeplechase,
Engraved upon the human race…
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Ahhh yes, my brilliant Silica,
Wordsmithster to the gods,
So roused by your rendition
That evens out the odds
Of no one seeing more in this
Than banter and hee haw
But look again and see one more -
A refractured form of law
Your calculi articulus
Is more than I dared hope
For a senescent charwoman’s
Illusionary dope.
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Your vector’s at a tangent to the matrixes points, such linear acceleration is painful to the joints…
Your poem is short but very expressive, I particularly like it when two very diverse themes are interwoven like that; it gives the nuances of the language back some of the abuse they have caused…
Edited on Nov 19 because ''. -
lol...how incredibly ....pointable
love it.
Sam
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Great...Ha...ha...It really so different idea...GREAT!!!
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awww pun! loved it...
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