My head is bowed as ill winds chase black clouds.
I cling to life; yet life is cruel it seems.
No one to hear my cries from shadowed shroud,
as daylight fades just like my fruitless dreams.
Each day begins the same with hope renewed;
maybe today there’ll be green shoots; re-born.
But once again, warm sun, dark clouds exclude,
and ears seem deaf, just like an ear of corn.
Yet here I see a golden beam of light.
Your warmth I feel; gold rays reach from above .
Pray; not the sword of Damocles tonight
but share with me just one hour of pure love.
For love should always feed the soul of man.
Man's shared the bread of life since time began.
In a list
A contest entry
- For all Sonneteers by masterblaster.
1000 points, ended February 19, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invites Only by masterblaster.
300 points, ended February 22, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I liked this work. It was simple, elegant and superbly written. This deserved it's trophy. I loved the word choice and the imagery, and alliteration was pleasantly placed. Overall, this piece was beautiful, and kept me smiling the more I read. Congratulations on such a wonderful piece of written art.
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I can definitely tell why this won the silver award in that contest. Congratulations! I really enjoy reading your work. I think the line I liked best from this piece was "I cling to life; yet life is cruel it seems" I feel this way a lot these days, there really is nothing in this life that's worthy living for.. or so it seems.. but I can't let go. I also liked the way you worked in imagery about nature and the corn. It took me back to nice days playing around in cornfields!
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amazing write
this is a great write...you expressed well the emotions you sent out through the flow of your words...i love the last two lines "for love should always feed the soul of man. man's shared the bread of life since time began." definatelly eye catching!! moving! enough to send shivers..yet we still tend to look past the love that should be there...we tend to get too wrapped into the works of the world rather than want to feel for the best in life...great write and thanks for sharing!!
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I really enjoyed the first stanza in particular, the "fruitless dreams" was very clever, and I presume the poem was inspired by the picture and not just found afterwards because the two fit each other so perfectly and it makes for a fantastic read, thank you for sharing this with us.
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I think ...
this is a very good poem. However, I'd have said "Man's shared the bread of life" in the last line.
Otherwise, this seems perfect to me.
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Hi, great feel in this sonnet, it reads well well spoken aloud, very nice. Di
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I recognise a words/phrases in this that have been spoken from your heart before...hmmm
Hope all is well my friend.
Another fine Sonnet
Love this:
For love should always feed the soul of man.
Man shared the bread of life since time began.
Ya Cuz
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Deep prayer
To bequeath love to the soul of man..wisdom flows in this exquisite sonnet, and the retourne is very fitting; masterful envoy in final couplet...
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I like this!!!! Well done and good luck in the contest. Val
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A very accomplished sonnet, with good flow, smooth rhyming and excellent content. Best of luck in the contest.
Bill
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Beautiful
At times I so long for a sonnet, or even just a good poem woven over a specific framework. A subtle rhyming scheme and an awareness of meter and feet. This poem is like being dipped in the healing waters and a long thirst is quenched.
Thank you.
CaliOkie
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I love this what a perfect penned sonnet! You have captured how I feel often in my day to day living. The picture brings the sonnet alive even more. The below lines were my favorite. I hope you win gold!!
But once again, warm sun, dark clouds exclude,
and ears seem deaf, just like an ear of corn.
For love should always feed the soul of man.
Man shared the bread of life since time began.
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