Tendrils of fog asphyxiate,
smothering the ghosts of yesterday.
While wisps of white and grey
blanket the dark opaque horizon.
Pacing this long forgotten bridge,
the hazy mist almost lives and breathes.
When the past blinds the hopes of tomorrow,
simply watching nature can fog out the stress.
Author notes
Inspiration: driving down a long bridge while it was foggy
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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beautiful. nothing more to say.
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Nice word choice!
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Interesting that you took this from something physical; I find that amazing because most of what I take is internal, mental, emotional. The (apparent?) simplicity doesn't at all subtract from liking this write.
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Excellent
Wow this is a really great write for this prompt you have here. I love the last line 2 lines When the past blinds the hopes of tommorrow,
simply watching nature can fog out the stress.
Thank you for sharing with me your gift to write poetry with me and welcome to AP as well. I also wanted to thank you for your compassion in the loss of my precious son.
Wishing you many blessings
Kelle Marie
stavykm
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your welcome... and thank you... I understand the loss of family. my mother died... so I know sort of what you are going through, of corse... I don't have that connection that you would have with your son... but I do understand a little.
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Oh, I love your metaphors and imagery! That last line kicks. I'm glad I chose to read this. Great work. Shancy.
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First you have a redundancy in the first and second lines. You are basically saying is: Tendrils of fog smother, smothering the ghosts of yesterday
In the last line of the first stanza you talk od 'the dark opaque dark horizon'. If the horizon is opaque it is dark by definition, this is another redundancy.
I love the line: "When the past blinds the hopes of tomorrow"
Just my opinion.
Jim -
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i know it... I did it on purpose.... your just the first to see it... I tried to use all the synonms(spelling?) of fog. I like to try new and wierd things...lol
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I for one like redundancy. Then again, I'm not exactly an authority in writing.
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It would be an interesting exercise if the synonyms were used correctly. As is it's like saying, "Use defeat, defense, deduct, and detail in a sentence." And I come up with, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."
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Wow, this is a very visual, lovely poem... awesome write.
♥
whisper
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