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Pain

Piercing your heart
Anguish forever felt
Incomprehensible hurt
No way out

Author notes

no pain no gain??

what is it we gain anways???
Written November 18th, 2003

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • DragonessTawnya
    January 8, 2004
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    Owwie...I've had a lot of pain lately...you captured it in four lines and hit me over the head with it. This is amazing. I'm going to have to try acrostics. Cool poem.
    ~Tawnya~


  • Desire gold member
    December 5, 2003
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    OUCH~ This one brought back memories~ Awesome piece sweetie~ So many people feel it~ Try to find avenues to lessen it~ This is one way to deal with it ~ Great write here ~ Big hugs and much love~Desire

  • softballgirl274
    November 21, 2003
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    When I read it, I kinda percieved it as rhyming, but I was going to say the rhyme scheme is off. I wont disqualify you, because it kinda rhymes, though. I loved the last line!
    hannah

  • comfortablynumb
    November 19, 2003
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    It isnt so much rhyming as 'balanced' - really cool poem,


  • November 18, 2003
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    yeah, what is that we gain anyways!? good point!
    (oh, and when i read it, it DID sound like it kinda rhymed.)
    i love the format of this poem.
    another excellent write. i like.. i like a lot.
    keep it up!
    *Raina*
    aka KiDDo


  • Lara
    November 18, 2003
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    Short and sweetly melancholy. What do we gain, you ask? Only when we move on and look back, do we find out.


  • Lo0opy
    November 18, 2003
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    hehe...I kinda forgot it was suposed to rhyme...I guess I wasn't trying...but when I read it, for some reason it sounds a bit rhyming...oh well...it was worth a shot anywayz thanx for your comment...

    ~~T~~


  • theDARK1 gold member
    November 18, 2003
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    i liked it, but the author's comments had a better rhyme scheme (since the contest calls for it--don't worry most of my work is without rhyme, i only enter rhyming contests if i like the contest itself)...good luck in the contest...theDARK1 slips into the shaDows to read another entry in this contest.


  • hokiebaby3
    November 18, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    the first acrostic poem in this contest!! lol. and i don't know what it is we gain......now that i think about it..hmmm......maybe people just made up the saying cuz it rhymes. great job

    thanks for entering!!!

    Leila

1 - 9 of 9