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Nectary

The beach is slivered
with the million million worlds
of our possibilities, each one shivering,
newborn in the breeze, or
sliding into the absence of your heel.
The lines of your hand
speak of sand and fluidity,
and when you offer me a flower
I know where to find you:
between the petals, and deep in the nectary.















Author notes

Thank you for the prompt - you squeezed a non-cynical piece out of me, and I applaud you for it! *smiles*

"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
An eternity in an hour."
~William Blake

A contest entry

Speak your mind.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • mycatsasha
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I really like the words you chose for this piece. I love how it reads. Nothing rhymes, but some of the words are similar enough to each other to give the illusion of rhyme. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I liked it.


    • IrishYndina
      July 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Some was intentional, some was happy accidents. Thanks for reading!


  • Randomly Beautiful
    March 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. :f


  • Randomly Beautiful
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous writing as always. I absolutely love the ending. Congratulations on the trophy. Trina


  • Jonathan Wikkins silver member
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful piece, the imagery here is incredible

    The beach is slivered
    with the million million worlds
    of our possibilities, each one shivering,
    newborn in the breeze, or
    sliding into the absence of your heel.

    good luck with the contest!

    mike, aka jonathan wikkins

  • Wisdom 1
    February 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    well modified

    you used clear ..silverd...,lines of....
    that was beautiful


  • Peteskid gold member
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    there were several moments of pause for thought for me in this, nicely done, some depth and tenderness...PK


  • Amergin
    February 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!!! I LOVE IT! MAKES ME FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND MAKES ME THINK OF THE BEACH! LOVE IT!


  • Nicolette gold member
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You should write MORE "non-cynical" pieces!! This is beautiful and my eyes strolled along on that beach. I loved this line "sliding into the absence of your heel"... like writing a love letter in the sand with your feet/footprints. I think now that you've ventured into the genre of love, you should continue walking its soft sands. Beautiful!

    ~ Nicolette


    • IrishYndina
      February 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! You picked one of my favorite lines to cite...I'm glad the footpring image came through.


  • poet2angels gold member
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this!
    The imagery and the metaphor is beautiful and this line:

    "and when you offer me a flower
    I know where to find you:
    between the petals, and deep in the nectary."

    just made me melt...sigh~

    Beautifully done!

    Lynda


  • hilly
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem, especially this

    sliding into the absence of your heel

    That is just beautiful. I like the way this piece moves between ideas. Great write.

1 - 14 of 14