They speak of my drinking
But, never of my thirst.
Sobriety I知 thinking
Is to be truly cursed.
I壇 like to I raise my glass
To the bouncer man
That kicks my ass
Any time that he can
So, blacken my eye
And bloody my lip.
I値l dink the bar dry.
I値l drink every sip.
There痴 a lass on my right
And in my left a beer.
I shall promise a fight
If you even look at me queer.
Pour me another shot
I shall dance without guilt.
I may show what this Scot
Wears under his kilt.
A fine lass just gave me a wink.
Pour a shot of Irish Whiskey.
We danced and I bought her a drink.
Now this lass is getting frisky.
The hangover had hit me
And I awoke with a yawn
Then she gave me smile of glee
And all her teeth were all gone!
Author notes
"They speak of my drinking. But, never of my thirst."
-Scottish Proverb
Written: Febuary 3rd, 2008
In a list
A contest entry
- DRINKING by Beautiful-N-Broken.
450 points, ended February 6, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS!!!!!!!!! AND PREWRITES!!!!!!! by Ale E.
600 points, ended March 22, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
hahaha so funn
-
I would rate this about a 7/10..the flow is pretty good but needs a bit of work..some stanzas dont flow as well as the others...your ending is good but could be punchier..i think this poem could definately be a 10/10 with a bit of work!
-
hahaha. i thought this was serious but it makes you laugh at the end. tight work
-
Awesome take on an awesome quote. The first stanza is great, definitely my favorite!
"I may show what this Scot
wears under his kilt."
I like that a lot too.
Very cute write indeed. -
I love the title... But please... if you are speaking of the Irish product, it should be spelt "whiskey" with an "e"...
-
wow. the ending suprised me. but this mademe laugh. good job.
-
Very interesting read indeed. I especially liked how you combined 2 options and kept it humorous all at the same time. Very nicely done I have to admit. The flow was also fairly good and this piece didn't really sound forced.
Thank you for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
ale xox
-
Thanks so much for posting in my contest.
Cathy
-
Very amusing, as I know many people who drink and have a grand time like you describe. And I know a few Irish people too.
-
I see you like contests. And drinking. Ah well, you'll soon be "in your cups" I'm thinking. Good luck in whichever contests I'm not in.
-
Too Funny!
Adorable and I loved the ending! My dream vacation this year is off to Scotland! Best of luck in the contest! -
fun bit of doggerel here
good sense of humour.
I'd be a little tired of that bouncer; maybe try another place
one nit: I’ll dink the bar dry.
Cheers, James -
Hello there and thanks for entering reading your piece i have to agree was moving and very creative thanks for sharing and best of luck to you
-
I enjoyed reading this very much. Thanks for taking the time to post it in my contest. Cathy
-
lol
Now there are two directions to go to with this one: Either the lass lost her teeth (as she fell or something because she was wasted herself) or - and probably more likely - you grabbed an older woman with 
anyway, enjoyed this one - thanks for the laugh and the best of luck in the contest!
Leander
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
