Defiant warmth and laughter run in circles from your lips,
they scurry down your spine, they leave electric fingertips.
Your shrill grin leaps into my mouth, I'm swimming in your smile.
I yearn for more with every touch, I've been away awhile.
Your energy pulses through me like a song that hits high notes.
My mind is filled with music, exclamation marks, and quotes.
The feeling can't get past my skin, it won't release it's grip.
Split seconds pass, and then at last, our self control is ripped.
You taste like something so farmilliar, but something new as well.
Like something from one's childhood, or an old forgotten smell.
It makes us see the colours that are so long lost and gone,
like the shades that come about within the first few hints of dawn.
I take a moment now to run my fingers through your hair
Releif feels like an exhale, and at last the game seems fair.
Silence makes the air more thick with everything we feel,
And your eyes, which are intriguing, give a look I know is real.
Your voice wraps up around me as it dwindles to a whisper,
the words you give to me are like the words shared with a sister.
Innocent and simple, they braid their way into my heart.
The braid you make will never finish, a revolution starts.
The comfort and the irony clash, but they walk hand in hand.
We're incredibly significant, yet we're worth a grain of sand.
Don't be afraid to play your cards, don't be afraid to stare,
Don't be polite, for this is life, you've not a dime to spare.
14 f VA
Author notes
Sorry it's so long =)
Critique it, if you will?
Comments
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Welcome to AllPoetry
You have nothing to be sorry about. I only wish all long poems were as good as yours. Loved the imagery, it is intense and unique, and your poem also has very good rhythm, rhyme, and use of alliteration. You see to be really talented. Generally I don't go for rhyming poems but this one feels very melodic in a pleasant way. I think you could use checking some minor spelling mistakes. Also, I think your poem would somewhat benefit if you didn't have all the three "something"s in the third stanza, it would just flow better without that much repetition. One other thing is that I think "more thick" should be "thicker", unless you intended it as such to keep up the rhythm. This is an impressive poem. Well done and keep it up
~Diana


