Trudging up a mountain, steep,
Feet atop crumbling rock
And fits of mounded brush,
Wary back bearing
the weight of discontent
and sack, scarce of provision,
I stopped to sip
the drops
of bottle's final whetting.
When, just inside the edge
of hope’s fleeting vision,
a little mountain goat
found himself
suddenly caught
within the flowered fingers
of a rowan-berry thicket
He tossed his tufted head
in frisky, spirited complaint
to free himself
from its feathered clutches--
dusting my mind’s eye
with the dance of dainty petals
upon air.
Each one dipped and flit
in playful piriouette
frolocking
upon the wind’s mesmerizing strains,
Swirling, twirling
in magnificent resolution
Making me glad
to have climbed.
Author notes
Poem of Inspiration: "Celestial Dance" by kaibab.
In ancient times, and Greek legend, the rowan was referred to as the Tree of Life. It's flowers grow in white, wispy, feather-like blossoms which reveal the rowan berries when they fall off.
In a list
A contest entry
- One Poet A Week...A Series Week 4 ...featuring kaibab by poet2angels.
800 points, ended February 5, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I did in fact meet
a big-horn sheep
eye to nose in wild repose
exposing who might fear in who
the whisper of a fireign dialect
I suspected him as strange
in animal to rearrange
the trail of rocks that led to river.
We stood a moment
and I felt him quiver'
my own nervous skin to shriver
what trail dreams on as fate delivered.
and then he danced on down the cliff
like hand on guitar bending riff
exposing grace to blowing myth
of who is God and wher goes poet.
-
a VERY NICE RENDERING HERE tEN, I FOUND MYSELF PON THE MOUNTAINSIDE
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What a captivating scene! I allus enjoyed reading about mythology, so the rowan part had me hooked. It's an interesting theme you played upon here, a weary traveler witnessing a kid caught in a rowan's tangle. My only question was that I was wondering what the traveler would do next, whether he would take the goat, or look for food, or something. From your notes the focus sounds like it should be on the tree though, not the observer, but I's just wondering.
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I really like this. It's a moment captured. An observation of an event that speaks volumes to the witness.
The image of the little goat caught for a moment and then freeing himself is so very visual. I seem to glean a profound lesson here. Your note about the Greek legend and the rowan is very helpful and with the information lends much depth to the poem.
I see that life's stuggles are somehow life giving in themselves. We see the struggles and are frustrated and fighting to free ourselves of them yet in the midst of the struggle life reveals its berries to us. We are strengthened and somehow our fight becomes a beautiful dance.
Surely knowing this truth will make us glad of the climb. I like the arc of the piece. It start's out in a kind of desperation yet ends in gladness like so many situation of life.
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Beautiful poem with such imagery to mesmerize the mind and take the reader to another [place and time!
Beautifully written!
Lynda
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Oh this is beautiful hun, lovely flow and imagery, it struck me though that there was a message deep within, that the struggle is worth it when the end result becomes the beauty of contentment. Wonderful work as always,very thought provoking and compelling Loved it
Hugs, Bunny
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some magic here, imagery and descriptions take on life petals and movement just done so very well,vivid visualizations for the the reader... so very nice...PK
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I especially liked "fits of mounded brush," and "back bearing the weight of discontent," and "flowery clutches." Charming "tossed...tufted". Nice alliteration and internal rhyme. What happened to the kid? I need closure
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