[Sunrise]
I am the hail that was surrounded
by burning walls of passion,
who lived in a room without walls or a roof;
so as the rain fell the paper balls of unfinished poems
would float away with the flood
& your tide would stick its nose
into the crevices of crumpled emotions;
and from there you would judge.
I am the ice that melted into nothing
from snooping eyes
that erased my own identity
& forced frightening images into my mind
so that I wouldn’t know what was right
or wrong; and so I’d let the water
erode truth from my soul;
because of you, I lived this lie.
I am the liquid that fills mystery’s puddle
in between the shaded line that divides
the roads’ lanes;
and no matter which way the wind blows,
I would never go to the left
or the right; always, I would stay
right in the middle
where misconception filled the sky above me
& confusion was, and still is, the permanent oil
that never completely vaporizes.
I am the son that you placed
on a beach beneath the microscope,
who you taught to walk;
and when I walked you stalked those footprints
& recorded the data;
& measured every action with assumption,
without giving me a chance to understand myself
before you understood me;
I am the son you gave birth to,
who burned from branding of the magnifying glass
& has scars that only want to scream how much
I hate you.
[Sunset]
Author notes
Personal
In a list
A contest entry
- Poets Survivor 3 - It Begins NOW - Audition Interval One (For Everyone) by Ryno.
1050 points, ended February 14, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Golden Free Verse by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended March 3, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Really Cool
I especially like this part..
I would stay
right in the middle
where misconception filled the sky above me
& confusion was, and still is, the permanent oil
that never completely vaporizes.
Left with no choice but to lie to please and avoid bearing the burden of disappointment....is how I took it. Right or wrong...love the poem.
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beautiful poem, extraordnarily meaningful, i love it!
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I am the son you gave birth to,
who burned from branding of the magnifying glass
& has scars that only want to scream how much
WOW!!!! This is amazingly scary and painful! The use of first tense helps make the whole work very much better! Very straightforward in its approach it clinges to various refrences which makes it even better to read!
Thanks for sharing...
luv n peace
pri
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I don't think I'm ever going to believe a word you say after seeing the result of this contest.
But I thank you for the opportunity.
Peace. -
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You can say that again.
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Glad I'm not the only one.
Anyone could have written that poem. lol
And we have about 100,000 poems on AP to prove it.
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We got about 100,000 more judges including her, never to look back upon - unless we submit our most crappiest poem and comment on 5 of hers
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lmao
it was definitely biased...unless she really just doesn't know shit about poetic device.
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I second the former. Sad to know people like that exist on the website though - I wish there was someone who'd go through the poetry and get rid of anything that isn't poetry. Irritates me most times - it's why my friend list is exclusive these days.
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Wow - lovely gold here. Read this one before - you got it down pat with this write. Nice to see it again in this contest.
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You already knew I'd love this...
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Oh Tyler this is so deserving of the gold. I think we all feel this way at some point or another. I love this...
I am the son that you placed
on a beach beneath the microscope,
who you taught to walk;
and when I walked you stalked those footprints
& recorded the data;
& measured every action with assumption,
without giving me a chance to understand myself
before you understood me;
I think parents often try to help and end up hurting. I love the stalking footprints. It is a fine line between parent and friend...I know I have four kids...lol. You never know when to stalk and when not too. Congrats...you have earned a pizza party...
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lol Thanks.
I love our inside jokes.
We own!
I think my mother is a great mom, but she is more driven by her own curiousity rather than her genuine concern. She just likes to know what I am going through, I guess she likes to relate with me; and that is okay, until not only does she find out some things I wasn't ready for her to find out, but she also confronts me about it. Definitely not cool! We get along good though...but I'm a pretty good actor...deep down I feel distant because I honestly feel betrayed.
Well anyway, enough of that. I'm sounding too emo.
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We all have emo days...lol. It's hard when you find out something about someone you care about; especially your child. Confrontation is never the way one should go about it but too often it is.
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I can understand that...with common sense; but I'm sure when I have my own kids [if I have my own kids], then I will completely understand. Honestly though, I would never go through my kid's poems or backpack. I just don't respect that.
My mom should have let me talk to her about it first, instead of her forcing me to tell her [now that's another story. lol].
I think she forced me to tell her because she knew I would never tell her because I don't tell her -anything-...I just don't trust her. And besides, whenever I talk to her about stuff she [like her own mother] throws it back in my face and uses it against me.
Man...she could have been a better parent, but I'm the oldest...and I'll make sure she doesn't make the same kind of mistake she did with me, with my little brother and sisters...I don't know if they're as strong as I am.
All in all...I think things will settle and be alright. It's just a matter of time.
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See, there is that fine line. A parent should not snoop unless the worry is life or death. Also, a parent should NEVER throw things in a child's face. I have to say that is a good reason of the trust being broken. When someone uses something they know against you it breaks that trust. Especially when it's a parent or someone you are suppose to be able to trust always. Time is another matter...it usually does heal or at least fade away the memory.
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Exactly!
That is was is great about time...it erodes most memories. I want to forgive my mom, but she discovered my deepest, darkest secret. When I found out that she knew, well, I won't get into it, but it was really hard for me emotionally. Well, I just accepted it...I mean, if my mom knew...she's the freakin' mouth from the south, so I know she'd end up telling at least ONE person. Well, so I ended up coming out. I'm bi and frankly, don't really care what people think. Ironically, all of my good/best friends are okay with it. Talk about good luck! lol
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Looks like you're going to be the one to beat in this contest. Congrats on taking top spot with this incredible poem. Round two - here we come.
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Thanks Erika.. definitely looking forward to the next rounds.
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Tyler is a genius.
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Yes
This is an absolute masterpiece. Im deeply in love with this piece. I can't even think of anything critical right now. Thanks; Ryan. -
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Thanks Ryan.
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Yes, just flat out beautiful and emotional, good luck hun
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Thanks
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Yes
Oh, I want to just cry, Ty. Excellently done. Beautifully executed progression. The imagery was fantastic. The emotion was gripping. It's so hard to say "I love it" cause it hurt me in my heart when i read it. But it is really awesome.
I'm sorry about all of that. -
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Thanks Ten.
ILY
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Yes
Excellently done here, raw and honest...I felt every word of this.
Good luck!
La x
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Thanks :]
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i love this. i think this is indeed the best i have read from you. your words feel mature and more profound. bookmarking this one.
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Thank you
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de nada
write some more.
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I would, but all I can think about is the same things I've already written about. lol
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hmm understandable, that happens alot to alot of us. lol...ooo are you watching the world's 5? i think it's the worldcup of tiger's five. the in-door soccer game where each teams have five players... australia is sooo good i wish you could see it!!!
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nope i dont have it on any of my channels
so you're rooting for the aussie's?
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i just started watching tiger's 5 it's fun ahem i think so... i have to see how the italians[they won't be the same as the international squad] are... ooo england[the tiger's 5 one] sucks... australia won against them with 6 goals!!!
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