i let go
and it all flys away
i hold on
and it molds like clay
but slippery hands
let loose the strings
that hold beauty
down with wings
A contest entry
- Looking for Favorites by just-an-amateur.
600 points, ended February 10, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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lol i can hardly see to comment i best get off the site before i explode
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a good pi9ec ehere filled with smiles but if i may and i hope you dont think me a git - the line fly;s away no need for an apostrophe there
i am a grammar nazi lol
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No i thank you so much! I'm not too good at grammar so i like being told where the grammar needs work. Thank you again
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Simply breathtaking. All of it. Every single little line. I'm a sucker for rainbows and butterflies (at least I was when I was little though). I wish you had capitalized your I's but that's alright I guess. Some punctuation might have also strengthened the piece but I feel like what you have here is the bare necessities. Throw out the extra, here's the nitty-gritty. Truth be told, I love this more without the I's and the commas. Wonderful job!
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest.
~M~
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