I walked toward a brighter star,
So clearly shining in the night,
And thought that it would burn away,
These feelings of such doubt and fright,
I hoped that it would fill the void,
This empty vessel that was me,
Such a fool, such a fool,
The star of love that could not be.
So closely there in heavens face,
A smaller star with lesser glow,
So silently, with constant light,
Shined down upon me there below,
With patience and the faith of saints,
It waited for my heart to heal,
Such a fool, such a fool,
It was the star of love that's real.
For brighter stars may quickly die,
So fast, so fast they can expire,
And leave you cold and all alone,
To freeze with unfulfilled desire,
It is the slow and steady light,
That shows the way to love that's true,
No more a fool, no more a fool,
I finally learned that star is you.
Author notes
my wife
A contest entry
- II by N e a r.
300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Is True Love by misticmoonlite.
700 points, ended July 19, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Filled with emotion, any kind of poetry by Vidasmoke.
675 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Person Who Means The Most To You by youhadme-athello..
475 points, ended January 21, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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nice job
i really enjoyed reading this, it's very sweet. i love how the rhyming flows. you did a great job with it. good luck in my contest.
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great job
i like it, i feel the love you could say
good luck
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lovely
like the content in this poem, as we all have our own thoughts, love grows on one,when you least expect it...thank you for this entry..
Lin
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isabelwk
redwingspirit sent me your link. I love the flow of this poem!
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thank you.
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Oh Man....I LOVE good rhyme in poetry....I CAN NOT believe I am JUST NOW stumbling onto your work!
Your talent is most admirable.
This is a fantastic write.
I WILL be back to read more!
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I liked where the poem went. Great!
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Loved this peice, abear said you were good, I didn't know you were this good.
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so many bright stars must fall & grace you...
Excellent work of art...
Thnx for sharing
GloriousGift
Heba
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Good
this is a well written poem which is a lovely testament to your partner I'm trying to pluck up the courage to post some of 'my odes to my beloved' maybe this will help. thanks -
This makes me wonder who won gold... Wow, nice write, I really liked it... Hope one day I can find a love like yours...
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Nice piece. You ARE a poet. The scheme is interesting with the one line of repetition. But in the first two stanzas, it being trochaic made me stumble just a bit. It does make it have more impact and makes the last stanza smoothest.
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AWWWW
This brings a smile to my face.
So touching.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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Amazing write, reminds me so much of that quote...which I can't remember where I heard it but: "The star that burns twice as bright, shines half as long"
I love the use of repetition and the metaphor and the way you expressed it and...well the whole damn thing! Poetry at it's perfect rhythmic rhyming best, great job! x
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Very sad write. But beautifully written Dear, Good luck with this in the contest. RedwingSpirit
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This was beautiful
How often we look at that of another star
When all this time the one beautiful love is standing there in front of us.
I love the depth, the true feelings of this poem
What a wonderful way to express love
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Stunning!
This is a really pretty piece! I love it's depth and insight! The rhyme and rhythm that it has is soothing and comforting! I'm a really be fan of rhymes, so when I read a poem like this I am inspired! I also want to say that I love your background! It's beautiful!
Luv ya oodles!
Courtney
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