If I took what you told me
and I wasn’t as free in my choices
If you shuffled all the options like a deck of cards
and held off dealing until I was certain
Nothing would ever get done.
We would sit in chairs staring at each other
and each of us
probably thinking something along the lines of
Move me.
I like to think I blink
because staring at the sun too long causes discomfort
and blindness.
And I’ve been tracing all the imperfections
all the lances of fire like lines of medieval soldiers
trying to find the spot where miracles are created.
As if the sun was a history book writer
bound by billions of years of burning gases.
An all seeing eye,
so particular about the details,
its pupil races over the surface of every planet under its care
while its hand waits eagerly over the pages
until it sees us and says:
“There.”
And I blink,
because for the sun to put all the effort into forming cognitive ability and vocal cords is too much for me to witness,
let alone stare at.
So I look back at you,
taking advantage of the fact
that I already possess the ability to
reason, observe and express,
I say,
“Move me, like no pair of legs ever could.”
We play several hands without keeping score
before bringing our fingers together like two tragic twenty-six card halves becoming whole.
I do my best not to stare.
And you say,
“There.”
Author notes
Just another line that grew into a poem. Here's your love poem from a guy's POV
A contest entry
- II by N e a r.
300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is my favorite of your stuff so far. I like the tangential-ness of the sun metaphor in between the stalemate going on. The playing card metaphor is also very appropriate since girls seem to waste alot of time in relationships by playing games. I also like some of these comments: "you moved me..."


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wow this poem is striking good
what can i say..i'm speechless....superbly creative poem...makes me stutter at every word this poem displays..well done!
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wow...
"And I blink,
because for the sun to put all the effort into forming cognitive ability and vocal cords is too much for me to witness,
let alone stare at."
really like those lines.

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This is magnetic.
I can feel the flares just bursting through the poem.
Wonderful.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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You are amazing. You have, indeed, moved me.
"We play several hands without keeping score
before bringing our fingers together like two tragic twenty-six card halves becoming whole." --so incredible..

1 - 5 of 5





