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rain ballet



The rain
dances around me
with splashes of sunshine




A contest entry

whats your opinion about it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Celticmoon silver member
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very cute piece you have penned.
    You have created a sweet image that reminds me much of yesteryear.
    Thank you for entering!
    Best of luck to you!

    Blessings
    Bel

  • grannyeri gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply

    Liked the images of rain that these three lines bring to mind. Filled with vivid thoughts and sights. Interesting metaphor - rain ballet.


  • Angelflower Greeters member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Ah.. such simple words but they bring beauty to the heart.. Great write..
    Peace to you,Jetleena

  • nearlycivilized
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    like silverdruid said, I like the use of sunshine when describing the rain.
    It creates a happy image, like playing in the rain, and I for one LOVE the rain. Well done.

  • Elavina
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa nice. I like how you use sun as a description of rain. Complete oppisites but you use them together . . .Thats one of the coolest things about poetry.


  • Chaos Inside
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    mmm. indeed, this is full of imagary, so simple, but with so much background. ahah. (did that make sense?) oh well, good right anyway!!


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply

    That was a sweet image

    and a good reminder to enjoy the rain dancing around us!
    Haven't seen the sun in a while though!
    This was wonderfully written to enjoy and I really thought the format illustrated it beautifully!
    good job!
    ears2hearyou
    Kathleen : )) you have a natural talent for this!
    it is a very respected form of poetry!


  • knickerdew
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    Looks like your reaching out and exploring different forms of poetry.
    I am not familiar with Haiku's but I know that the contents of this little write is great.
    To me it says that even though things around you may not be as sunshiney happy as one may want it to be you are still able to see the silver lining.
    Or perhaps the beauty this is about seeing warmth and beauty in all aspects of natures wonder.
    Or..... LOL.
    I love it! You penned it in such a way that it can take on different meanings to different people and their moods.

    GREAT JOB BABEY CAKES!


  • Elavina
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    Wow it's interesting how you can say so much with so little.

  • Adios Muchachos gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply

    I liked what this said.But you have to remember that this is form poetry, which means that you sort of have to follow a schematic to do it.

    ie. Haikus usually have a  5-7-5 syllable count, no capital letters,  deal with nature etc.

    You've got most of that here except for the syllables. 


  • cursedwiththissoul
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant. Just amazing. So simple, but so powerful.


  • M a r l u x i a gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is so beautiful! And for such a short write!
    "splashes of sunshine" : This line is just so yummy, lol. I dunno, it's awesome.
    Bookmarking!

    M a rl u x i a


  • storiesuntold gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply

    Hey thats nice

    Did you know if it rains and the sunshines at the same time it will rain the next day . I love it when it does this

1 - 13 of 13