The rain
dances around me
with splashes of sunshine
A contest entry
- Prewrite Mania 2 by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended April 7, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is a very cute piece you have penned.
You have created a sweet image that reminds me much of yesteryear.
Thank you for entering!
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Liked the images of rain that these three lines bring to mind. Filled with vivid thoughts and sights. Interesting metaphor - rain ballet.
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Ah.. such simple words but they bring beauty to the heart.. Great write..
Peace to you,Jetleena
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like silverdruid said, I like the use of sunshine when describing the rain.
It creates a happy image, like playing in the rain, and I for one LOVE the rain. Well done. -
Whoa nice. I like how you use sun as a description of rain. Complete oppisites but you use them together . . .Thats one of the coolest things about poetry.
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mmm. indeed, this is full of imagary, so simple, but with so much background. ahah. (did that make sense?) oh well, good right anyway!!
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That was a sweet image
and a good reminder to enjoy the rain dancing around us!
Haven't seen the sun in a while though!
This was wonderfully written to enjoy and I really thought the format illustrated it beautifully!
good job!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) you have a natural talent for this!
it is a very respected form of poetry!
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Looks like your reaching out and exploring different forms of poetry.
I am not familiar with Haiku's but I know that the contents of this little write is great.
To me it says that even though things around you may not be as sunshiney happy as one may want it to be you are still able to see the silver lining.
Or perhaps the beauty this is about seeing warmth and beauty in all aspects of natures wonder.
Or..... LOL.
I love it! You penned it in such a way that it can take on different meanings to different people and their moods.
GREAT JOB BABEY CAKES!
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Wow it's interesting how you can say so much with so little.
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I liked what this said.But you have to remember that this is form poetry, which means that you sort of have to follow a schematic to do it.
ie. Haikus usually have a 5-7-5 syllable count, no capital letters, deal with nature etc.
You've got most of that here except for the syllables.
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Brilliant. Just amazing. So simple, but so powerful.
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Wow. This is so beautiful! And for such a short write!
"splashes of sunshine" : This line is just so yummy, lol. I dunno, it's awesome.
Bookmarking!
M a rl u x i a
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Hey thats nice
Did you know if it rains and the sunshines at the same time it will rain the next day . I love it when it does this
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