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Poppy field lives

We've witnessed violent battles
raging in each others eyes
heart to heart we've seen the bitter,
wounds of loss and lies.
We've fought through storms and tempests long
deep doubts regrets and pain
stared oh, so very hard at fear
yet still our love remains.
Our forces now are truly joined
with loyalty, allied
our strength and hope and love they stand
unconquered side by side.
Our hardships are not over yet
more challenges will rise
a thousand vile demons may
invade our clearest skies.
But we'll face our threats together
courageous true and pure
our love, brave, fierce and constant,
honest, strong and sure.

With growing times of safety close
'mid fading battle cries
peace will never dull the passion
in our poppy-field lives.
Where tranquil swaying stems present,
Our boldest, brightest red,
the greens and scarlets intertwine,
as peace and passion wed.

Author notes

This is a re-write of "No silent ally", and its still a work in progress.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • Bob Fox silver member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply

    Perhaps

    With whispering bells and words of beauty true love is a possibilty. I, the ever doubter, shall take a knee to your courage and dedication in your quest for love.


  • pinksnowboots
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    I personally like it as it is. I know that is no help to you if you are trying to revise, but I think it is very touching and I enjoyed it, so I think you're on the right track.


  • Shancy Fayre
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The first line should read "witnessed," shouldn't it? An insignificant detail. If you aren't happy with it, read it over and over. Try different things then go back to the original if you see it fits best. Personally, this is a poem that touches my life at this time. One of my three sons is having a bad time of it and this could describe his relationship with his wife of fifteen years. Trust me, it's been a living hell for him. But, like your poem,
    strength could come out of all this trouble. Thanks for writing it. Shancy.


    • Loveboots
      February 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Shancy

      You are absolutely right about the "witnessed"!
      I do keep coming back to it, it is actually a re-write of "No Silent Ally" also on my pages at the moment. But I'm not happy with some parts of it, it needs work, I'll keep playing.
      LB
      x