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Picking Up The Pieces

So once again
I look in the mirror
And what do you think I see there?
Do I see me there?

Maybe what I feel inside
Is a little deeper
A little softer
I feel so hollow

But once again
I'm sorry
I digress
I'm so caught up in time

So what is it that I see
That is catching me
Because my life is so big
I do not have the spare second

I see time
Time caught up in my eye
Like the raging winds of change
Will catch a flower in a storm

Time takes its time
Ripping my youth to pieces
It throws my childhood on the floor
So it will shatter
Into a thousand tiny shards

I still stare into the mirror
See what time has done to me?
Let me break the mirror
I don't care if I have seven more aweful years

But what is there to care about
When your mother thinks you're ugly
When father is not there
When your friends are no where tho be found
And you're chest aches, oh, it aches
Deep within you

I want to rip out my heart
So I cannot cry
So I cannot hurt
So I do not have to go through the pain
That time gives me
When all time is trying to do
Is heal me

I stare on the floor
Where the broken mirror lay
See what time has done to me?
I am like a million of me
Caught in the eyes
Of the glass
That time has broken
And we're all laying on the floor

So, what time is it?



In a list

A contest entry

This is for the contest: Time and Time Again

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • The-Choke
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that everyone has those type of moments where they look in the mirror and don't like what they see staring back at them. You expressed your view on this and how it affects you really well. I really like the sixth stanza and how you say that time will rip your youth to pieces. That's such a great way of putting it.


  • Elenaliz
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this has a lot of emotion and pain.i really like the lines,
    And you're chest aches, oh, it aches
    Deep within you
    I am like a million of me
    Caught in the eyes
    Of the glass
    That time has broken
    And we're all laying on the floor
    but i think it needs a little work i would take out the words there in the first stanza both of them.i think it would flow a little better.

  • BlankSillhouette
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice. I loved the motivation and the metaphor in the mirror. It was a very well written and put together poem. I could feel the hate at the end towards yourself, and great job. Good luck and best of wishes,

    XBlankSillhouetteX


  • Lost Emo
    March 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really gd. The idea of time catching up on u and when u start to reflect on it all, theres always things u wish u could change. great write


  • Never Fall in Love
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty good, if I may say so myself. The only thing with this is that I felt that it was perhaps a little bit too wordy - though that can be fixed.

    Good Luck in the contest
    Never ♥


  • b funk
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was powerful! I really liked it. Time doesn't always heal all the wounds, It often makes them easier to deal with, but at times the wound becomes infectous. Hopefully in time we find the right doctor to heal us. Good luck in the contest!
    PEACE!
    -B


  • HeavensDaughter
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is such a powerful poem. It has a few typos, but other than that it is an incredibly powerful write. My heart goes out to the writer.

    Very powerful imagery!

    "I see time
    Time caught up in my eye
    Like the raging winds of change
    Will catch a flower in a storm

    Time takes its time
    Ripping my youth to pieces
    I throws my childhood on the floor
    So it will shatter
    Into a thousand tiny shards"

    It seems as if you are almost saying that time is constantly always happening over and over at the same time. I see the thousand tiny shards almost as a picture of mental/emotional fracturing...each part reliving the time it was made so that it is all times all of the time. Not sure if I explained that very well.

    "What time is it?" I think it is time to fight for healing!

    Good write!


  • Haunted Doll
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I am like a million of me
    Caught in the eyes
    Of the glass
    That time has broken
    And we're all laying on the floor" loved this part. the best of it i think. very deep.


  • Commodore Rouge
    February 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    See, now that's much better! Isn't it amazing what a little change like that can do for a poem? Much better, indeed!


  • Commodore Rouge
    February 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is pretty good, but I think the main problem is "show, not tell". You've got some emotion, you've got rythym, a good title, but it lacks the imagery, and I think that is really effecting this peice here, 'cause I can relate to what you're talking about, but I probably see a totally different vision of the scene in my head than what you're portraying. Revise for that, then I think this poem will probably be complete!

1 - 13 of 13