Float along the canals with me
even on a rainy day, when we
sit close beneath the canopy
wet and dry, breath comes easily;
in moments held for keeping.
Falling light, the clouds so still
will leave you long before I will,
into sunset, pouring sweet wine
tasting airy whispers; misted fine
among night flower drippings.
Watch the turning colors of sky
to inviting darkness, moonlight eyes
on veranda above glistening glows
stars will make our draping shadows;
until dawn’s hazy driftings.
Author notes
Italian Beauty
Rhyme pattern: aabbc,ddeec,ffggc.
In a list
A contest entry
- Pimp up my love poetry by leander.
700 points, ended February 22, 31 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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You have managed to stay quite well out of the clichéd side of love poetry with this poem, and I do like that
Thank you for entering this contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
Favorite part: in moments held for keeping.
Beautiful poem! Some spots seemed unwieldy, but then they fit in with the tone of the poem, so they work perfectly. Three clappies for you, though you deserve more.
. Rewarded 4
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the claps...
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I am so bad at writing form poetry.. but I love reading it and this is so beautifully written. I love the thought of such romance. If someone wrote me such beautiful words I would probably never leave their side.
Thank you for sharing this with me. =)
Criss -
Perfect night, just enchanting!
and there is nothing wrong with the title nor with the translation. Chiove is a word in the Neapolitan dialect. E chiove does mean it rains
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even though anonymous judging, this is a song title from one of my recent favorites...Andre Bocelli, "Romanza", E Chiove[ and It Rains]... a beautiful song if you have not heard it, and the inspiration... i agree with the dictionary, but this is regional and correct...anyway, thanks so much for the thoughtful comment...PK -
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I believe a comment has been deleted here. Is it a sign that he was wrong?
This is indeed a wonderful poem, all that you need to make it better is to hire a gondola.
Mari
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Bella y romantica Venezia... should be there now
Your poem is just as romantic. Lovely sights your words provided.
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captivating, enthralling write. Purity of word choice and phrasing, an immaculate presentation of images of rain, and the intimate privacy that it brings to lovers. I loved particularly / night flower drippings/
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this is beautiful..every line...this brings so many romantic images of being in rain..
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