I touch the glass of a window pane
Tracing the path of a drop of rain
I feel two things, the pane and my pain
Without you here, it's never the same
It's been a whole week since I last saw your face
The seconds tick by at a funeral-march pace
The distance between us makes my heart race
I pretend to feel your skin in the surface I trace
Still the rain falls in soft pitter patters
I tell you I miss you and pretend that it matters
And imagine you heard my words as they scatter
Resounding so loud that this window would shatter
I think, at this moment of the ways our love's grown
In our days spent together and these nights spent alone
Missing you in ways that no one has known
My tears hit the glass, making paths of their own
Author notes
MDS5158
A contest entry
- Got A Crush On A Pretty Pistol [[+Round Two+]] by brittany.geeze.
360 points, ended February 28, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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"Missing you in ways that no one has known
My tears hit the glass, making paths of their own"
Those words were the best out of the whole poem, in my opinion. And I do not mean to offend you, but the fact that you made the end of each line rhyme, was a bit- distracting. I sometimes like rhyme, but I think this made the poem feel a bit forced, and for me it made me look at the words at the end of the line and totally distracted me from the meaning of the poem.
But I did appreciate the fact that you spelled the two different pain's correctly.
Thanks for keeping up with the contest!
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No offense taken. It's your contest, it should be judged by what you interpret to be good poetry. On a side note though, the "...the two different pain's..." part, I think i resent that a little bit. You do realize that just because I don't write completely in free verse that doesn't make me a moron that needs a pat on the back for being able to spell two words correctly, right? Well, anyway, I appreciate your reading my poem and thanks for taking the time to run the contest.
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fantastic
omg...this was so bloody amazing!!! i felt it so much!!! and related to it. got me all choked up. it was beautiful!!! definitly one of my fave poems ive read!!
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Ohhhh this was sad and wistful and just lovely!!!
Aww... gave my heart a little squeeze... I love this poem, sad and yet graceful!
Just beautiful. And great rhyme and rhythm too!
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