Poison coils begin to unfurl,
perilous notions plague the mind.
The need to eradicate overwhelms,
fists are clenched, stomach binds.
Waves venting brutal slaughter,
barbaric mists cloud the sky's.
Vast pits of sadistic flames burn,
as ferocious embers drift by.
Caught within an evil whirlwind,
a hurricane of savage rounds.
Obstructed only by strong will,
or plentiful corpses would surround.
Valiantly stood on the narrow brink,
eluding explanation, you're still sane.
Yet platinum heart is so shrivelled,
as silvery acid flows through veins.
Vile malevolence corrupts the air,
enduring all deplorable actions.
Euphoria over my controlled power,
and the fact they're not in traction.
Vermilion clouds rumble with thunder,
rift is vast, abyss bleak and grave.
Trapped deep inside repellent hell,
to lost and alone to be saved.
Author notes
Inspired by recent deceit and backstabbing. If it's not what you are looking for feel free to DQ, but thanks for the chance to vent!
A contest entry
- Give Me ANGER!!!!! by PerfectImperfection.
500 points, ended February 15, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get It Off Your Chest! by TheStupidLamb.
300 points, ended February 17, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I agree with Fritz
This is powerful
and you are 'Queen of the Dark'
*Bows slightly*
~Pastel
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Wow, Powerful Stuff!!!
You never fail to astound...
Am loving the dark bitterness, you write it so well...
Well structured! Well penned! Well done!!!
You truly are Queen of Dark...
Another amazing deep & dark write...
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Know this is powerful and so well written...the flow and word choice are superb...deceit and backstabbing is all to common for my liking and you wrote of it with depth and fury...anger suits you well in depth and excellent poetry...so sorry you have been going through this though...seems like too many I know here are at moment...
Best to you!
Love,
:
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Brilliant poem The poetess uses carefully chosen wording here which brings this poetry to life making it stand firmly out of the page with a display of totally exquisite roar emotions. Excellent job. (HM)
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Ya got it!
Great prose and rhythm. Your words flow freely, falling faintly into the falls of the unconscious. This is the personna of anger. Liked this a lot
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barbaric mists...brutal slaughter...sadistic flames... savage rounds... a few of my faves... WOW!!!!!!... I'm glad it helped!!!!!!!!
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A very well thought piece of expression penned within these lines. Dark and intriguing imagery surging throughout. I feel it could be polished a bit here and there, but graet as is. Thank you for your entry!
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Wowz0rs...
this was quite the intelligent, yet completely corrupted piece....i can feel my muscles tense as i relate to this inner rage, isn´t it like being depressed in reverse?..that feeling in your chest...
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Excellent
Very powerful images and emotions created. Best of luck in the contest.
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I agree very deep. Wow I could feel all your anger throughout your amazing write. I hate deceit it really makes me angry too. I love your border. Keep up the amazing writing and good luck in the contest
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too deep
not sure what most of those words mean but they sure scared the hell outta me...lol
awsome
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Power and richness make this an excellent poem that is dark as hate.
"Vile malevolence corrupts the air,
enduring all deplorable actions.
Euphoria over my controlled power,
and the fact they're not in traction."
This is my favorite stanza - really has a kivk.
Very fine work!!
Wolfie
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wow, I love the powerful images behind the fantastic wording! Just astonishing!
Very well done!
good luck in your contest!
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Wow!!! You sure penned this prompt.Man I can feel every emotion that you have mentioned to the core of my bones.This will be gold for it iss all Anger. Good luck in the contest.
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i love the background, keep it flowing
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