My words go off like gunshots ---
hitting this page like streaming bullets.
Shards of unwanted anger
pierce
my mind and soul.
With burning ears I pass the insignificant beings.
Although the outside seems fine,
the inside is bleeding from open arteries.
D
e
e
p
l
y
cut and wounded!
My future stands disappointed,
shaking its head at my past.
And I'm left
shrouded in confusion
once again with no one to call.
Author notes
This is my attempt at a free verse. Feel free to critique...as I know you will. =]
A contest entry
- EMOTION SECRETS by R S Adams Jr.
1100 points, ended February 19, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Great!
I love the form and flow of this. Free verse is always fun and you did a really good job of it. Your punctuation even brought a lot to this, instead of just commas all the time you exclaim and change it up. Loved it!
-crushed
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well done with the prompt..
I like this poem very much. I like the form and I like the unique approach you have. It is a mature look at a young people's love. I have commented more on IM.
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I think this will do great in the contest. good luck.
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