Memories hold me in your arms,
But the tears remind me I'm alone.
I close my eyes and I'm lost in yours,
And I pretend that I'm back home.
I'm sitting where you left me,
I promised I'd still be here.
You're leaning into kiss me,
But then I cry another tear.
I'll never get that kiss,
Because I didn't stay.
Why can't I remain lost in memories?
I want them to take me away.
Jenna is looking for dada,
I can see you two playing again.
My wet pillow reminds me I'm the one playing...
A heartbreaking game of pretend.
Mama left daddy...he's not here anymore.
Jenna and daddy don't get to play.
Why can't I remain lost in memories?
I want them to take me away.
I hear dogs barking outside,
Is it my Peanut and Sissy too?
I grow dizzy seeing it's only a stray,
A painful reminder I'm not with you.
I just can't breathe without you...
I don't think I'm going to be okay.
Why can't I remain lost in memories?
I want them to take me away.
I feel a sting upon my face,
What did I do wrong now?
Another slap you say I deserve,
Though I don't see how.
But there will be no more hitting,
No slap upon my face today.
Still I want to stay in my memories...
I just want them to take me away.
I woke up next to you this morning,
And held on tighter than before.
I can almost hear your heart beating...
Until I find myself on the floor.
It was only a perfect dream,
Much to my dismay.
Why can't I remain lost in memories?
Please...just take me away.
Author notes
I'm not sure if this would even make sense to anyone but me. I just left my fiancee recently because he'd been hitting me, and he was controlling, wouldn't allow me to see or speak to my family. I just couldn't take it anymore. So I left. And now I'm regretting it, because it hurts. It just hurts so bad. I don't know what to make of my life without him...he meant everything in the world to me. So...I know in personal poems when you include names, it confuses things. Jenna is my daughter. Peanut and Sissy were the dogs out on the farm where I was living with the guy I wrote this about. If anyone has any suggestions, please don't hold back. This write is SO personal and it helped to get it out, but I still want it to be good.
Beaut1fullyxxBroken
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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"Why can't I remain lost in memories?"
How many times have we all asked ourselves that?
I'm so glad you found the strength to take your daughter and walk away, but unfortunately I know how hard that decision is, even though to people who haven't been there it seems straightforward. The more of your work I read, the more impressed I am. You are a truly talented poet, and I hope you never stop writing, because that would be a real loss.
~*~DramaQueen469~*~ -
i see im a little late on commenting but imma do it anyway.... so, for this, i think noone can tell you what to do. this is a situation you need to handle on your own, i dunno if that sounds mean or not, its just what i think.if he hits you, then you need to stay away, if he loves you, he wouldn't hit you. well, some people are just weird like that though. i think he just needs help. so if he really loved you, then he would be willing to get help. he would want to change for you. then depending on how much you love him, that decides on if you want to put up with the beatings or if you believe you deserve better than that.
i love this part!
Memories hold me in your arms,
But the tears remind me I'm alone.
then by the way, great write!
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I'm happy to say, that through my journal, and my writing, I've been able to completely get over this situation. He started talking to me about getting together, and I said not a chance. I don't deserve to be abused. I'm better than that. Now, my favorite ex and me are talking about getting back together. I can't believe I ever stayed after the first time he hit me...it just got worse and worse, till I feared for my life if I left. I'll never let another man mistreat me again.
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thas good! im glad for you
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OMG! This is so sad!The emotion is veyr good! Bravo!!
Goodluck!!
~dawn♥ -
well...
it is good, in my humble opinion...
if this part is true, then you don't need him around...
it'll only get worse...
feel a sting upon my face,
What did I do wrong now?
Another slap you say I deserve,
Though I don't see how.
But there will be no more hitting,
No slap upon my face today.
Still I want to stay in my memories...
I just want them to take me away.
I woke up next to you this morning,
And held on tighter than before.
I can almost hear your heart beating...
Until I find myself on the floor
hugs
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
I know it's hard to leave someone you love, but if he was hitting you, you should have left him the first time he raised a hand to you.
(Forgive me if that was unwanted chastisement, but I have huge issues with abuse, so I don't take it lightly)
Anyhow, I'm generally not into forcing rhymes, but you did this nicely, without too much actually forcing, that I could tell. It is a very emotion packed poem, but you didn't overload it either. All in all it is a well written poem.
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Keep writing -- try to get rid of all unnecessary words and turn self-pity into irony!
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I thought your poem made sense, even with the names and i thought it was very very good. Filled with emotion, I could defintiely feel your pain.
"My wet pillow reminds me I'm the one playing...
A heartbreaking game of pretend."
that was some excellent writing right there! very creative way of putting it.
I know it's hard to see now, missing him so much and all, but he caouldn'thave loved you or been good for you if he was hitting you / controlling you, because thats just not what love is...and it's not good for your daughter either. In the end, your leaving was best for the both of you...again, I know it's hard to see that (and probably hear it) now. But you defintiely made the right choice.
Take heart! Things will get better!
s
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GOOD
your poem is really good in sense. I can relate to it. I love these few lines.."I woke up next to you this morning,
And held on tighter than before.
I can almost hear your heart beating...
Until I find myself on the floor."
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