In my world, my thoughts are my enemies.
Everything that makes me want to smile...
really smile,
has to be given away.
My memories
hurt
everyone.
Why would I want to tell?
You come into my room at night
and touch me until I am
so far away...
I can't feel anything.
You pull me by the hair
and beat me until I am crying.
Numbness overcomes me
as I wonder...
Who should I protect?
I must do the right thing.
Is it right to swallow
the pain
or get you in trouble?
This is the question a child
should not have to ask.
Everything that makes me want to smile...
really smile,
has to be given away.
My memories
hurt
everyone.
Why would I want to tell?
You come into my room at night
and touch me until I am
so far away...
I can't feel anything.
You pull me by the hair
and beat me until I am crying.
Numbness overcomes me
as I wonder...
Who should I protect?
I must do the right thing.
Is it right to swallow
the pain
or get you in trouble?
This is the question a child
should not have to ask.
Author notes
Hi, my screen name is Running Free and I am survivor of childhood abuse. I wrote this poem in 1999 about the confusion of telling people about the abuse I suffered. Sometimes it isn't so clear to someone being abused by their parent what is the right choice. It sure wasn't to me.
A contest entry
- STOP CHILD ABUSE/RAPE by Jade-.
600 points, ended February 10, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Once More I speak to unsilence the issue by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
6000 points, ended March 8, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Abuse Writes Here! (Part III) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1650 points, ended April 27, 2008, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Such hurt and pain that nobody should truly know, but yet some are subjected to and what can they do but whimper and cry, because they are unable to scream out... this makes me so angry and sad.
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it wasnt to me either i went for 2 1/2 yeares not even knowing that it was wrong and then when i found out i had the choice that no child should ever have to make.beautifuly put but so sad


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Stunning write
You made the right choice, the only choice you could - you survived. How many do not?
You capture the terrible dilemma that so many children are forced to face by those who should be nurturing them and helping to make the choices easier. That you can speak now, in this forum is a victory of sorts.
Having experienced the pain, you now make of it a gift to others that others might hear and understand and speak to their own suffering. How we might wish that we could make the bad things go away, or not be bad -- but there is no way to do that and the best that can be hoped for is to turn the bad to good in some small way. You have done that here. You may touch lives you never know. Thank you.
CaliOkie.

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I really hear the dilemma of the child. You are right...a child should NEVER have to make that choice. Reading this makes my heart go out to you. I am soooooo glad that you finally DID tell.
I am proud of you. Sending you tons of warm and gentle cyber hugs, hon, accompanied by lots of love!





