Dancing in this storm of ice,
Letting it freeze my thoughts, my life
Purely amazed by the beauty in you,
Only praying you notice it, too
Bringing our scars close together,
Hope you will be here forever
A dazzling smile meets mint green eyes
Two throats dry up as souls collide
Like the silent brush of an angel’s wing
Two swollen hearts, now alive, sing
Bringing our scars close together,
Hope you will be here forever
A thrashing rush of adrenaline
Seeping deeper into tender skin
The savageness exposed within
Where one journey ends, ours begins
Uniting our scars close together
Hope you know I’m yours forever
A contest entry
- Love like no other by okadadokie.
680 points, ended April 24, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's all about love by Sound of Madness.
625 points, ended July 12, 2008, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thanks for entering this into my contest. I wish you much luck. This is such a beautiful poem, and it has a great picture to go along with it.
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very nice write you got here. I got a really good feeling from reading this. the emotion is protraied well. i thought these lines here were the best
"Two throats dry up as souls collide
Like the silent brush of an angel’s wing"
great piece.
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Wonderful write. Great job.
~Oka/KC -
this is my favorite poem of yours which i have read so far. it is tender, sweet, and wonderfully visual. it captures a lot of the dynamics of love, including the "savageness exposed within" without breaking the rhythm. it comes across almost as a love song. with only minor quibbles of punctuation- i can be very picky about punctuation, and change the punctuation in my own poems about five times before anyone else sees them, and often i change them after that too- it is perfect. absolutely perfect. and the picture is the ideal complement. remember how i told you i'd be willing to help you publish your work?
well, this has to be in that book for sure.
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this is so sweet. i adore love poems so much!!
beautiful job, truely exquisite!
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OMG.
BRIA.
I wanna know...if I give you credit..CAN I PLEASE USE THIS?! It fits perfect the words I can't write down. I love it. It's like..something..I can't even explain it. You know how to word everything so well..and make it flow so amazingly. I was thinking of something like this and I jsut couldn't get it right.
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alightinthedarkness
heyy girl ! sure, of course you can use it!! whats it for ? and i trust ya, i know you'll give me the credit :]] i am very flattered!
glad you liked it so much ! and i try, haha
missyouu<333333
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Ahhhh !
Brialicious I couldn't help but smile when I read this poem :]]] It's so cute and sweet and awww I feel all sappy now. hahaha. I love the metaphors you use in this poem. Or maybe it's simlies ? Idk. I usually get those two mixed up. haha ;]]]
"A dazzling smile meets mint green eyes
Two throats dry up as souls collide"
I seriously felt like I couldn't breathhhe when I read those lines. It reminded me of a certain guyyy whom Mandalicious is growing very fond of :]]] Gawd. Your wrting always gets to me SOMEHOW. And thats definitely not a bad thing, dear.
"The savageness exposed within
Where one journey ends, ours begins"
Basically perfect. That last line is so damn true.
Wow.
Wow wow wow. I am speechless after reading this poem. There's so much love/lust/care/hope/beauty filled within every line and it just makes the poem more exquisite. Yes. I just said exquisite. I like that word.
=]
Greattt poem ! I loved it yo <33333
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SO BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED!!!!!
Your feelings and heart are here within your words and to me that is what writing is truly all about.
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beautiful poem........
this is a very good piece....your alot like me and write what you feel in your heart...keep on writing...
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