My heart
a gold brick
You melted down
and formed in
the shape of a
dagger
once hardened
you drove the dagger
into my heartless chest
I guess love does hurt
A contest entry
- Need Inspiration by OneChance2Live.
455 points, ended February 2, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Oh. . .good analogy. wow that is so cool. 'my heart is gold that you melted and turned into a dagger' that's such an amazing Idea. I love that. strange twist on love so so so cool
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The title is apt and effective,it almost acts as the first word of the poem,neat. I liked the poem,the poet portrays imagery and emotion well,both the rage of the one who felt unloved and also that the other character can still ony guess that love hurts because another was hurt, certainly bought a new meaning to the old adage of he's got a heart of gold. No suggestions to offer dear poet. Congratulations on the shiny for the 'shelf. Well done.
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Yes, love does hurt sometimes. You used an excellent example of the pain love can cause. I like the metaphor used here too.
Charity
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I'd give anything if i had the ability to write like you do, your great at this.
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wow i have never tried writing like this, its good i think i may try it sometieme
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So Sad This one
Being I have felt the coldness from the dagger of steel I can first hand tell you that it took me a year to rid myself of its bitter cold from within . I hope you arent writting this as factual for its a hard road to travel
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Wow, this is great!
I love this piece.
Very sad and deep work
here. Good luck to you
with it here!
Jeremy0826 -
interesting
I like how you use gold as a title because the heart is made of gold I think and when the gold is melted and love doesnt exist it truly hurts and the dagger is a good metaphor this is a very interesting piece my friend keep up the good work.
Andi
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