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~ Morbid Day ~ {Haiku duo}

Forlorn skies arise
And conquer. Grimacing down
They beckon to me

Swirling clouds consume
By the waters spouting death
I smile and laugh

Author notes

Well I suppose it's hard to define why this has to do with love..But it does...Trust me...
Written November 17th, 2003

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Bluestar
    November 22, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    excellent write, those dark and gloomy days have no influence on your mood when love surrounds your heart do they? Excellent write, well penned

    Blue

  • Ms. Trick
    November 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    like the rain tastes like blood and the clouds have rusted.

    trick


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    November 18, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I hear the anger you can't see
    the sorrow of the cleansing
    that is finally coming to be
    The storm that brings destruction
    in the wake of it's desire
    churning with destruction
    waves crashing, sky breathing fire
    Harken to the Angels
    for they finally rage
    upon the narrow minded
    through the winds and rains
    ~wolfbane

    Excellent piece hun, loaded with imagery, pwerfully done.


  • Daoine
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Magical..a feel of control over the raging desire
    love can cause. You placed such power in these short
    ku's. Love and nature go hand in hand.
    Daoine

  • Confused Gemini
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Maybe it could deal with love in the fact that love always just swirls around you and consumes you in itself. Beautiful background hehe and it is blue yay!! Either way, I can still feel where you are coming from on this one. Great job!

    Keep up the great writes

    Gem


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    You penned yesterday down to a T here in KY
    I love Haiku's and loved this and the background too
    I just posted a new one do come see me won't you
    Blessings
    Susan~~~~


  • stonedmemory
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    mmm forlorn skies... i like that
    infact it got me thinking-- i never thought skies to be grief filled unless rainin in winter time... but hey good poem... specially it got me thinkin
    i m not good w/ haiku's myself so i admire those who have the devine ability to write it... gr8 stuff

    keep it up
    PEN ON
    ~sToNeDMEMORY
    http://stonedmemory.tripod.com
    http://stonedmemory.deviantart.com
    http://pinkfloydthewall.cjb.net


  • Kalexi
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Scarlett

    Kinda dark and gloomy, like the skies today , very deep haiku's

    's
    Karen

  • MysticRoseTears
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    WOULD YOU GET OUT OF YOUR GLOOM!?!? well I guess I don't have room to talk really...I have been trying to get out of being around people this month but this year its going to be different.

    Anyway, great write, I could see why this has something to do with death, probably I have been around death so much that I have grown to love...wow thats sick and twisted, but I can see how you relate this poem to love


  • dying serin
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    good stuff

    Wicked. ..and refreshing.


  • astralshepherd gold member
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I dont get Haiku, i tried taking a class once but i guess it didnt take. I like it tho', dont get me wrong, i just wish i could write it. I love your images.
    ~richard

1 - 11 of 11