You wanted to wish spit on the events of the day,
and look for the meaning these ashes display,
so you can relate.
but you can't relate.
It's all whatevers left.
Picking up pieces of the cake.
Don't look up.
You might see something.
Don't you dare question.
It's all legal.
Yeah...
and the guards look away in the prison,
it's something they've seen too many times,
and they don't care anymore.
Why should I?
Do I have to tell you?
You ought to mother fucking know,
and scream out,
and run,
and react.
To this violation.
Even though yeah, it's one of many.
Author notes
Source:
RATM
http://www.photoshoptalent.com/photoshop-picture/4752fc40da5e3/Human-Anatomy.html
Our desires are fabricated and sold to us cheap. You always get what you pay for. Don't you think?
Comments
1 - 56 of 56
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Hmmm thought provoking
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Impressive.
This is a rather impressing write! I rather enjoyed this read and your style. You make some valid points through metaphorical expression! I do think that our desires are almost always fabricated but they aren't always sold to us. More so stolen.... This had a divine flow and the tone of the poem was captivating. Keep up the great work!
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It's all about insensitivity and apathy in the world I get it and I think that's exactly how you wrote THIS poem. Now what you said about yourself on your page was Awesome very thoughtful and filled with emotion and on the verge of inspiring. I like your page (excluding all the sacrilege) a whole lot better than this poem. I am truly sorry if this comes off as harsh though
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I find your comments complimentary. I'd much rather you speak your mind than hedge for fear of offending me. It's not really sacrilege unless you take something holy and violate it. Wiping your ass with the bible would be an example of this. I'm an agnostic so I tend to take pleasure in saying things like that. At the same time, I would never take away your belief even if it were in my power. Just return the favor.
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Our desires are fabricated and sold to us cheap. yep, that would sum up capitalism in one simple sentence.
rant on Poet, rant on !
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MAN THIS IS SOOOOO PROFOUND, MEATY CHUNKY GRITTY RAW, DUG DEEP MADE ME THINK......MY FAVOURITE KIND OF READ
THANKYOU
T
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fuck yes. this is all i am capable of saying.
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Reflective. Chemicals against chemicals. Your words are head on, but awakening. Passionate, however stark.
I'd see pieces like this to caption political drama graphics
Thank you.
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I don't believe the politicians anymore...nor the media hype about them. This poem speaks to me because it is a defiant, in- your- face slap at all that we've been taught to believe and we do.
Write on, poet.
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wao-that is written simply but still extremely strong!
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seems to be the topic of the year my family & friends debate such issues I agree with you totally I could say much more but I will leave it at that, great piece.We all need to get it out there and do something about it
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Thank you. I'm glad I touched upon a subject you can relate with. The apathy of people is a pretty big deal, because we're taking bites out of one another, instead of working to build things these days. I think this great apathy is simply a symptom of this problem. Us and them doesn't even exist. But it's a great tool to have when you want to steal from your neighbor.
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wow man way to take a swing at all of the political bullshit that controls our every move. look but don't touch taste but don't eat. "classified my ass thats a fucking secret and you know it."-Slipknot
I hear you loud and clear great read
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Admiration !
I admire people like you who have a raw talent for painting our society as the black picture it is and leaving no brush stroke over looked. This is rightly angsty and powerful in its delivery. The west is in a terrible mess i fear, we are no longer in control of our minds and ego , they are in control of us, and turning us back into the primitive beasts we came from (allegedly)
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Yes, the western world is fucked properly by it's own corporate "citizens."
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Sorry...double entry...and not the good kind. I can't delete it, so you've got to ignore it.
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I think you have a good mind and a lot to say about the 'plastic' world we live in and how many people take tripe and take it seriously as if that's what life's all about. The poem has a nice angry feel, it means, to me, that you care.
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Thanks. I do care. Most of my anger and cynicism sprouts from that. Thanks especially, for noticing. And reading...and commenting.
take care.
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I am glad you have so many comments on this write ...
Now how brilliantly you replaced the heart of the matter ... or is it vice versa?
I will wash your mouth with pepper ... and then you may be kissed by a ... frog.
Blessed be.
Myra
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Hey, I like this, it says how we just ignore things that are better to be rebelled against or at least changed for the better. A lot of people like to live in sh**, if you'll excuse the expression. Do you think in this poem that if a person has his own dreams instead of what;s given him in movies, he will be a better person?
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I think that flows well outside the scope of this poem. But I think our own dreams are much more powerful than the fantasies and dreams sold to us through the media. Often times though our own dreams do borrow from them. So I wouldn't disregard all of them completely.
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the depiction of micro thought
seeing the big picture through a pinhole .. i love it .. keep em comming
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Was the use of "leafs" as oppose to "leaves" in the title deliberate?
Not sure I understand the title. I admire your ability to empathize with other people who you don't know and never will, but unfortunately, I'm one of the people you're directing this at:
"You wanted to wish spit on the events of the day,
and look for the meaning these ashes display,
so you can relate.
but you can't relate."
And I can't. I suppose I'm just desensitized to anything that isn't right in front of me. Even when it's exposed by the media, it doesn't seem real somehow. But reading this makes me resent the fact that my response to this was one of utter apathy, even if it doesn't make me want to change it.
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Yes. Deliberate. I've thought about changing it a few times, but always keep leafs, though I'm at a loss to explain exactly why. Like most poems, it's a bit of a soliloquy to myself. My higher self getting up on a soap box to chastise my ego, and everyone elses in the room as well.
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I just got finished reading one your comments below and now know the meaning behind this. That's so horrible. I think some people become desensitized in this line of work.
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Wow! An image of leftover-burnt leaves comes to mind while reading this. It is as if they represent ourselves being violated and we dare not say a word. Instead, we sit here looking for the lesson behind our own tragedies, when really we should be fighting back. We shouldn't be passive when others abuse us. The guards almost remind me of celestial beings or angels who sit by to watch and do nothing, while the prison symbolizes a world of torment. Then again, I always over analyze things.Great write anyway.
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Strong words of truth...society is a mess and as for humanity, does it even exist anymoe one a lareger scale...I often wonder and that worries me...we like to turn our heads "see no evil, hear no evil", thus we sleep without guilt at night...great show of one of the many troubles of life...add it to the list, for it is growing longer each moment...
excellent work...got to love freedom of speech.
mystic
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We do become easily desensitized to the "violations" on and against humanity. And we shouldn't allow that to happen. I agree. Whether abberrations occur on our streets or prisons, in our homes or woods, the very act of not feeling is the greatest violation of all.
Thank you.
Kel -
Very well done piece of work, though I'm not certain of its meaning, I enjoyed the read. Is it Arkansas or Australia you're from. Keep the faith brother
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I'm from Arkansas, living in Australia. Thanks for returning the favor and reading.
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i like this piece. ive been in prison and i can totally relate to what you said about the guards, they just dont give a shit. mind you i have only been there once, but it left such an impression on me. i really like the last line. it puts a very strong cap on a very powerful piece. great write.
Rob -
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I was working on a database at a small-town police station, and the guards were laughing over a mentally challenged over 50 who had gotten raped a couple of days previously. I'd respected these guys and even liked them. They didn't just ignore it, and had no shame about it. They laughed. Guess you get pretty course and have to be insensitive to survive as a cop.
I understand. But there's something very wrong with us putting our trust (being forced to trust,) these sorts of people.
Many people who've dealt with many police officers shoot, run, and hate the police.
It's not always that there's something wrong with those people.
Cops are probably some of the most twisted uneducated members of society.
Not to say they're all stupid. But they better fucking be numb or they won't last too long.
They should be smart, compassionate, and educated.
The world would work better if that were true.
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The different line lengths work so brilliantly here Neuro. Sometimes I get frustrated at people who even out lines perfectly etc, only making it harder to read, the flow interuppted lol.
Yours definetly NOT that
I am so not a rhymer and I envy those who do it so well, you did it SO WELL in this piece only adding to the intensity.
I so dont see one thing wrong with this poem, so thats the perfect writer in you
punctaution spot on and just everything else perfect to me
A thought provoking piece as well.
For the first of yours I have read, I am already very impressed with your gift
Cindy
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Thanks. I thought I would probably be on your ignore list. I don't care for rhyme, but I appreciate it when it's done in an organic fashion. My last three poems are pretty mush dribble...avoid them...
Thanks mostly for reading, and commenting.
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the depth of the mind behind the darkness lives a wise human reaching for closed minds to open there hearts, eyes and thoughts to what really is out there, "your damn awesome" this is brilliant.
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Through poetry I get to say whatever I can grasp. I'd like to say I am compassionate and soulful, but I'm trying to reach these ideas, and this part of everyone. Sometimes good things trickle down from the chasm. Thanks for the read, and the comment, and calling me damn awesome.
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lol nice write above
it makes me feel like you have grabbed my collar and started a big arguement with me lol..strong poem...it could keep my hairs standing...i didn't know poems can be muscular lol.
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Wow. Thanks. The poem was supposed to be provocative. It's cool to see a real reaction.
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This is such a well expressed, in-your-face piece of thought. There is so much that is just 'accepted', whether or not the truth of justice itself can be proved. Reminded me of paranoia against the controversies that we create. Thought provoking indeed.
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Thanks for the comment. Now I just want to write more angry poetry.
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WOW
"they don't care anymore.Why should I?" What a powerful set of words. Your shouting for someone to help, they just walk away. "it's something they've seen too many times." To be numb to the violence, and violations. So sad, your words are true no one cares except the few. I loved this piece.
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We're growing in ignorance, anger, prejudice, and shrinking in compassion. We don't see this as happening to humanity, or us in any way. We look away. Maybe even joke about it. Thanks for commenting, sorry for editorializing my own piece.
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powerful piece
very powerful piece! this hits me in a personal way, though it is probably not meant in the way that it strikes me...
"You wanted to wish spit on the events of the day,
and look for the meaning these ashes display,"<-- these lines speak volumes to me. they reach in and grab your guts out, if ya know what i mean.
excellent briallant writing.
blessings *(stomps
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It's meant to be interpretive. Thanks for reading.
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Im with Wikkens and Romily
im just too lazy to type it out. -
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Okay.
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This was indeed an interesting piece. It was dripping with cynicism yet desire for something beyond. Well done
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it amazes me how much life force is spent and traded for plastic. it makes you want to laugh or cry or both at the same time. Most people seem to be dead inside, so they choose the plastic. Me, I like to scream, and growl.
Nice piece. -
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It's important to try and keep as much of your humanity as possible. Or reclaim it.
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really incredible piece, with some incredible lines:
You wanted to wish spit on the events of the day,
and look for the meaning these ashes display,
so you can relate.
but you can't relate.
It's all whatevers left.
Picking up pieces of the cake.
Don't look up.
You might see something.
Don't you dare question.
It's all legal.
Yeah...
keep on writing!
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Why should I?
Do I have to tell you?
You ought to mother fucking know,
and scream out,
and run,
and react.
hmm quite amazing. Nice effort! well done. -
gjhgyu
cool :]
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Tis a hard cynical write. I enjoyed reading it. Great job
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Will return the favor.
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