broken glass
goodbyes
and mirrors
that's all i'm left with today
that
and the clickety clack
of trains coming
in colors without names
perhaps jazz was the color
on "South Saturn Delta"
in between the song
& you
stuck in my head
there is a rhythmic pattern
to broken glass
but
the music is gone
Author notes
"South Saturn Delta"
obscure instrumental by Jimi Hendrix
Walt would have approved
In a list
A contest entry
- For My Teachers (5300 points) by just rob.
5000 points, ended March 1, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent!
Great phrasing and image. It leaves me kind'a "Red Housey,with the last two lines as surgically precise as a midnight straight-razor.
a five-reader...
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I liked this.
david
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Good to read you Monarch of Mud. This definitely has a good rhythm and sings the blues.
Especially enjoy S2.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Best.
Lisa -
Ah, but the song still plays, in the form of your poem. Short, powerful. I like it.
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Isn't it amazing... from the shambles and noise can spring forth images as wonderful as those before the defeat of our sobriety, before the meaningless waste that just lies there... waiting.
An amazing write
Dee
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my memories of Hendrix relate almost exclusively to antiwar protests, the star spangled banner, and a song called all along the watchtower, he crossed over the cultural divides before the phrase was invented a giant talent, unforgettable like so few others....nice to remember this...PK
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Sometimes,sometimes we see a kaleidascope and catch it's reflections for the nanosecond before it changes and rearranges. The only thing I cannot colour is death,it is not black,we wear that out of deference to how colour-less we feel surely? The clickety clack hasn't truly gone, it lives on in memory, within South Saturn Delta, on another plane,someone's surely jammin'
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"colours without names"
the rythmn of this piece is excellent
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Mary is right, there is an immense amount of sound here that it rolls off the tongue -
and at the same time, it has its crescendos, the highs and lows. You can feel the emotion inside the words.
Just excellent, it leaves me a bit melancholy.
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as i was reading this i almost figured it would be an entry in nic's music contest because it has so much sound and play to it.. i love the clickety clack
the final line is brilliant
wonderful poem
m
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I love the way you write Mud. So much character and story..mysterious
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"the clickety clack
of trains coming
in colors without names"
I do believe Mick would approve, too. 
Baby, as long as you keep pickin' up the pen or the brush, the music will never, ever be gone. 
Love it, Scribe. So will Rob. Good luck in the contest, my dear Friend. 
Wanderer
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