The south wind blew mellow;
grass was covered in dew;
the pale moon shone brightly
on the night I met you.
The mist on the ocean
was beginning to rise;
breath caught for a moment
when I looked in your eyes.
The depths of my own soul
I could see echoed there
And just for a moment
it was too much to bear.
You mirrored all my fears -
all my hurt and my pain.
You pulled me in gently
as it started to rain.
The downpour refreshing,
we could not feel it’s chill.
It ended abruptly
and the night became still.
I heard your heart beating.
It was so near to mine.
Two hearts became one heart -
beating rhythms in time.
We walked by the ocean;
Saw the lights from the ships.
You pulled me in closer
as you first kissed my lips.
Were the stars that I saw
in the skies or my mind?
Were the feelings I felt
dreams that I’d hoped to find?
Was it cool when we met
that night in November?
I was lost in your eyes
and I can’t remember.
A contest entry
- MY BEAUTIFUL VALENTINE by Liquid memories.
700 points, ended February 10, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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sucha sweet flowing write. success
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Beautiful poem!
I love this. Great imagery and naturally flowing rhyme. I think I even got a few goosebumps as I read. I especially love the feeling of protective love that the following lines evoke:
You pulled me in gently
as it started to rain.
Well done.
-
Was it cool when we met
that night in November?
I was lost in your eyes
and I can’t remember
Ruth this speaks of love as we all know it at its first dawning.
A beautiful poem I need say nothing about the rhyme flow or content as that has been said by me on more occasion than i care to mention
Never one to let this reader down
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you make rhyme work
it feels
and doesn't plunk
this is beautiful..
m
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i love your style. you tell stories with rhyme and none of it ever sounds forced. this was beautiful. <3
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