On my rainy little island
These's a dusty little street
A pretty little peninsula
With a sandy little beach
And two little bays
On each little side
Bring tiny little jellyfish
With each little tide
There's a little green forest
At the little beach's head
And hidden among the little plants
A little net makes a bed
It hangs from little branches
And has a little view of the sea
All around grow little flowers
At the roots of little trees
All the rocks have little ponds
With little crabs and creatures
And when the little kids have gone
Come out the little crab eaters
Take a little bit of time
On a sunny little day
Grab a little bit of food and wine
And relax the Ridley way.
Some of the rhythm is off. Any ideas on how to fix it?
Comments
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I Like It!!!!!!
I like it. It's relaxing and full of imagery. I do have a couple little criticisms though. Hope you don't mind. Line 2 should be "there's" instead of "these's". And line 10, "At the little beach's head" seems off to me. And at first glance the bright green writing on light blue background is a little hard on the eyes, but that's just me. All in all your poem makes me think of summer, and a secret little world. As for the rhythm, i can't help you too much with that since it's really up to you to. I like the way it sounds in my head and out loud
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