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A Lack Of The Genuine.

There was a man,
who was bruised head over calloused heels in love.
Obese Obsession played every note he possessed like he was a grand piano
and the unfortunate recipient of his love was none other than
every air-brushed and photo-shopped angel
that played the role of stock model for dating and hook-up sites.
And the very plausible fact that each one is fake falls short as a concern to him.
Because every advertisement on every site
cycles to one about computer problems every seventy six seconds.

Author notes

Just an odd dippety bouncing around up there that came out in the way I wanted it to, when I wanted it to.

*PO' Contest*

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • LadyDementia gold member
    February 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyable read, interesting theme. Good luck


  • Arkbear gold member
    February 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting entry ~

    Welcome to the PO' contest!

     

    I have to tell you for starters....I do wish you had used your poetic format to showcase this entry ~

    Not sure about your Theme.....so I had to guess at it.....and I do believe it is relevant to the Net and reality ~

    ????

     

    I believe breaking your lines up and formatting to present soild statements would have helped this entry a lot with Flow & Tone ~

     

    Nonetheless, this is well spoken, and I can tell you have a quill which loves to spread ink around and get noticed ~

     

    I like to see that in a Poet :)

     

    Please join us again and watch for your POWER, IMPACT and Focus.......but well done for your first time with us :)

     

    Bear ~

     

    Title   9.8

    Flow   7.75

    Depth   7.9

    Theme   9.8

    Feelings   7.95

    Grammar   8.4

    Presentation 7.5

    Uncommonness  10

    Sit & Ponder Affect  10

    Ability to follow Rules  10

    Bears Score: 89.1

    Pretty good score!

    :)

    No editing once a Judge has touched your work ~


  • aboomer silver member
    February 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol....quite cute. Enjoyable.
    best wishes in the contest.


  • Purplemoondoll
    February 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    LIke the story

    it made me smile - good luck in the contest :-)


  • islekine
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    YES!! I did laugh...

    I really like this! Best wishes in the contest...
    Your background s/b whiter...lol.
    I Love this!
    Write on and on!
    *PEACE*

1 - 5 of 5