Because the breathe-
beating never got old.
(Until you contracted smoker's
lung and forgot to call.)
A contest entry
- 16 Words - 16 Entries. by Naridill.
380 points, ended January 31, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any good?
Comments
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first off: congrads on your bronze!
such imagery i've gotten.
the background and text
color tends to contradict
harshly, sending my eyes into
criss-crosses. none the less,
i love the last line:
"until you contracted
smoker's lung and forgot
to call." vivid imagery
that causes inspiration.
blessed be!
♥adrieline
x3
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I love this - its awesome. The phrasing and arrangement, simple but stunning, you really hit full on imagery.
Thanks for entering, much luck,
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Good write gives quite an image
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