I feel sick
in my heart and my head and my soul
and the first thing
out of my mouth
is puke
and the second " Fuck"
I'm tired of looking
out windows
seeing everything
that I can't touch.
Seeing everything
that means too much
to everyone but me.
I am the sad person
peering out the window
while you're peering in.
You glance away and back
and I'm gone.
Just light playing
on the shadows.
I'm tired
of being sad.
I'm tired of being tired.
But it's hard to change
a habit you can't control.
My life is hanging
by a thread
of a silk sown cigarette.
Inhale, puff.
One always equals
another.
I'm just a BIG MESS
you should be tired of
cleaning up by now.
Just go away
so you can't remind me
of everything I miss.
We're not near perfect enough
to endure this.
I'm not near sick enough
apparently.
I'm not strong enough
and this FUCKING LIFE
is not long enough.
You can't convince me
I'm gonna be alright
when everyone won't look me
in the eyes.
Everyone's always afraid of death
but I'm at a break neck run
and its dogging my heels.
Did I really believe your love
could save me?
I feel sick
in my heart and my head and my soul
and the first thing
out of my mouth
is puke
and then silence.
I guess
there's nothing to say
when you're sick of
yourself.
Author notes
Emily Jane Hodgson, 18
- Psychology club group list • next in list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is deep!
"I guess there's nothing to say when you're sick of yoursel" that was great!
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I really enjoyed this poem, I've been off the site awhile, and it's nice to return and read some really good lines. I enjoyed the lines ...
and the first thing
out of my mouth
is puke
and the second " Fuck"
And it's follow up, I enjoy full circle, very nice job.
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amazing
i luved it really raw amazing
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Inhale, puff.
One always equals
another.
- another write i loved. it was very raw indeed. very deep and good.
- i liked it. -
raw, very good though.
-
I love it.
-
I'm tired of looking
out windows
seeing everything
that I can't touch.
Seeing everything
that means too much
to everyone but me.
I am the sad person
peering out the window
while you're peering in.
You glance away and back
and I'm gone.
Just light playing
on the shadows.
this is beautiful. heartbreaking. in fact, perhaps I have seen you before myself?
We're not near perfect enough
to endure this.
I'm not near sick enough
apparently.
I'm not strong enough
and this FUCKING LIFE
is not long enough.
I get it.
Did I really believe your love
could save me?
Yea...
acceptance is the first step
falling back into denial
always seems to be the second..
love the ending.
really. thank you. this is what im looking for
put your name/age in authors notes?
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Thank you very much for being patient with me, and entering my contest.
Lines 26 - 29 were quite intriguing. Very good use of imagery, though the poem was more of a rant.
Line 51: "its" should be "it's"
Lines 62 and 63 can be combined for a greater, impactful last line. -
familiar
Been there...boy have I ever been there....when you look in the mirror just to wish you had the nerve to punch it, wondering if it would change anything excecpt the condition of your hands and fingers....hating life because you feel like you are the only one alive that knows this irrepressible feeling that nothing works and nothing can change the way you are and the way you feel and all the anger and and hate and depression and rage seems to consume you until all you can do is walk around in a numb state where nothing seems right and nothing seems fair....yeah, I've been there...I'm here if you need to talk...hell it's not like I have a job or anything...lol.\
This was a good write, better out than in...according to Shrek....okay it was cheesey but hopefully it made you smile.
-Julie Renee
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I can relate to this so much, more than you know. I can feel every word here. The emotions are portrayed so well and it's so terrible when life feels like all this. I hope things are getting better.
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This is an awsome poem. Its not very happy but i like it,it gets the point across. your a great writer and i always enjoy reading your work. Great write!
Zannah
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